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The Ga Man

He was christened Nii Ayi Aryee Aryeetey - no name can be more ultra Ga than that.

Your Ga man, from the standpoint of history falls into one of three categories - those who belong to the sea (James Town, Bukom, Teshie and Chorkor), those who belong to the sand (Nungua, Labadi, Accra City itself), and those who are lost and about (Adangbes, Hausas, Yorubas, Sierra Leoninans etc., born and bred in Accra).

If you are yourself a lady prone to picking quarrels, never fear, for in the Ga man you have found your lifelong bodyguard. At first sight, he tends to be somewhat gentle - that is, until provoked of course. Of all the men in other Ghanaian tribes, the Ga man is the most fearless - moreso after his balls of kenkey and red pepper. But tread softly. Because of their horrible sense of humour, every joke on him is a personal affront to his manhood. And since he applies the same code of honour to women and men, please for heaven`s sake, if he says.. "Ma yi bo eei" (I will beat you), don`t stand to challenge him, thinking it as empty threat. Woman, wife, lover, fiancee, he will turn you into a punching bag! But that is the core of the Ga man.

The icing on the cake is the educated Ga man. He is of a breed you can always count on. For even though he is capable of chewing his sponge to the airport to meet his cousins on the early morning Ghana Airways flight from London, he has gone to Achimota School and speaks the English language well. If he is from James Town (British Accra) and has a surname like Bannerman, Reindorf or Bruce, he has extremely good taste and mannerisms and is worth the ride. That is until a taxi driver crosses him at Bukom junction. Then his spirit of sexual frankness comes out. Expletives of descriptions of the various parts your relatives spew forth in a torrent from his well-trimmed moustache. These insults, too private to mention here, invariably begin with "Onyaeeeeeee......................"

If Nii Ayi has any ambition, it is suppressed, perhaps for fear of failure. His faith is in the white collar job, where he fights with Fanti man over posts in the civil service. But the Ga man hardly ever gets to the top, because he will surely forgo his transfer related promotion to stay put in Accra - you see, he has the firmest intransplantable roots in Accra and for him Accra is the only place to be.

If you are a young ambitious lady who wants her man to get everything, forget it. Even though they can (with a little training!) make the most docile and obedient companions, his lack of drive will drag you down. But if you are a bit on the lazy, labour-saving side in the kitchen, rush for a Ga man. Not for him the elaborate three course meals - he is more than satisfied with kenkey and kenkey and kenkey, fish and pepper (N.B just vary slightly with sardines, tilapia, corned beef, etc.)

Ah! One problem though, he is already married to his grandfather`s family house! So if Mr. Aryeetey has already started talking about matrimony, ask him where you are going to live after the wedding!