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Opinions of Tuesday, 5 July 2016

Columnist: Chukwuneta Obiageli

Stop judging divorcees

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A friend told me that she used to be so judgmental of divorcees until she found herself in that ship; hers was a very young marriage. She was really ‘wifing’ to the best of her ability when the fruit of hubby’s out od town business meetings came home to roost…a supposed ‘ex’ of hubby don first her carry belle.

She thought that changing environment a bit could help her come to terms with the reality on ground. She never even reach her village before the other lady moved in. Na so she begin stay for her Papa house o…hubby tell am say she has no right to come back to his house, since she left on her own accord!

I sense a similar mentality (of DIVORCEES ARE MORALLY BANKRUPT) in a lot of people in this environment.

Read me right...Divorces are NOT wayward women who can’t stay under a man’s roof or irresponsible men who don’t care about their family. Actually, the bitterness in some troubled marriages are so entrenched that both parties are better off-going their separate ways. It is the only way they can live happy lives… going their separate ways and trying their ‘luck’ elsewhere, that is.

The level of condemnation that perpetuates towards divorced persons (in this clime) leaves one wondering if God has appointed some of us as HIS judges. Do you know that your penchant to ‘label’ another has made our society breed more hypocrites (Chop and clean mouth)?

Stop judging divorcees. It is damn ignorant of anybody to do so. One who has had a failed marriage is not reduced in any way. His/her failed marriage is not who he/she is - just an unfortunate situation. Nobody goes into a marriage to watch it pack up but life happens.

The marriage you think you have today may not be there tomorrow. Don’t assume you can do better until you have found yourself in the shoes of that man/woman you are condemning/judging.

Being divorced does not make anybody bereft of values except he/she is morally bankrupt-as an individual. Just like being a married person does not confer anybody with more morals…after all, there are supposed married persons who are MORE AVAILABLE- than the singles sef.

Are the infidelity and other vices that are so rife in most of today’s marriages also being perpetuated by divorcees? I mean, we all know that most marriages of this age are in APPEARANCE ONLY. Everybody dey waka as dem like.

Some claim that kids raised by divorcees don’t turn out well… Says who? I actually think that the setting that has mummy and daddy living like cat and mouse or exchanging blows frequently has a more adverse effect on kids.

How many kids that are involved in various reported vices (in this clime) are products of broken homes? Of course, every child will be better off having mummy and daddy under the same PEACEFUL roof-as a family but it is ignorant to blame the questionable character of any child on the marital status of a parent-alone.

Focus on training a child right, the training you give to a child determines (more than anything) how such a child turns out!!!

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