Letter From The President (XXXV): Traveling in shame

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,
I have already told you about my decision to cut down on my foreign travels this year. I didn’t take this decision because of the criticisms of people who think that I travel too much. I also don’t care much about the joke making the rounds in the country that I have formed my own travel and tours agency, with headquarters at the Foreign Ministry and Mama Tess as the General Manager. Well, even though such an agency exists, I insist that Mama Tess is not its General Manager.

We, indeed, have this special presidential protocol unit which is responsible for drawing up the presidential itinerary, lobbying foreign governments to invite me for official visits, securing visas, purchasing tickets, booking flights, booking hotels etc. The head of the unit is currently being investigated for failing to book a place for me at the just-ended European Union Summit.