Letter from the president: Mills again?

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

let me start off by first apologising for my inability to write to you last week. I suffered a serious bout of diarrhoea which had the potential of causing a grave national security threat. So I had to lock myself up in a room, surrounded by several chamber pots in different colours, shapes and sizes. Not to worry! The diarrhoea is gone, the security threat is no more and thank God I am writing to you. This is my last letter of the year so I would like to say a little “thank you” to all of you for making time every week to read the nonsense I write.