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Opinions of Monday, 20 June 2016


Here is how men feel about women asking them out

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Even though men do not complain, it has emerged that they certainly do no mind being asked out. In fact, many men on Quora say they welcome that gesture wholeheartedly.

One Quora user, Jeremy Karmel said: “If a guy is interested in a girl, her making the first move may have some small effect positive or negative in how much he likes her, but it will almost never be strong enough to change his decision whether to go on a date with her or not. If a man says no to a date from a woman, there probably was no future there anyway. If the man says yes it is unlikely to have any long term impact on how things go.”

Will Wister shared his own experience saying: “One of my exes asked me out and we dated for almost 2 years. I hardly knew her before she did. She was really forward in general. I ended up falling in love with her. If she hadn’t been forward with me, I probably would never have gotten to know her. I wasn’t blown away at first, and I doubt I would have put in the effort myself.”

It seems women who go the extra mile to initiate a relationship with a man, usually put in more effort to see the relationship work as compared to it being the other way round.

Systems administrator, Adam Cohem says his wife made the first move on him in a rather smart way. He narrates: “I’ve been married over 30 years. I claim that the first date was initiated by my wife. She claims otherwise.

I was working in New York City. Living in New Jersey. Basically, any dating was a weekend project. Future wife was working at a major client of ours, and I had met her a few times and we had talked over coffee. Out of the blue, she calls me and asks if I want to play hooky, because she has some great tickets to a Yankees Red Sox game. We go to the game. By the 2nd inning we are like high school kids on a date. By the 7th inning I’m asking her out for dinner that night.

Now I claim she asked me out for the 1st date. To which she says hell no, that was just a baseball game. I asked her out on the 1st date for dinner after the game.”

An editor, John Cate also wrote: “I have no problem with it at all. The best relationships I’ve had were with women who approached me first. I’m impressed, and flattered, when a woman is bold enough to make the first move. So much so that I’ve actually found myself attracted on some level to women that I wasn’t interested in before.”

Since most men seem to appreciate women who are bold enough to make the first move, more women should probably start asking men out instead of depending on previous norms and rules of engagement.

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