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Opinions of Wednesday, 6 September 2017

Columnist: Counselor Adofoli

Funny Face's marriage diarrhoea

Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli Counselor Frank Edem Adofoli

There is power in silence but not everyone knows that. Only the matured and the intelligent know. No one knew about Funny Face's relationship with the Ex-wife until we heard of their marriage one weekend. But suddenly they want everyone to know about their break up. Why? The answer is simple; a seed grows with no sounds but a tree falls with a huge noise. What that means is creation is quiet but destruction has noise.

If truly their marriage was a mistake as claimed, what do you do when you make mistakes? You sit down, reflect on what you did wrong, learn from it and ask yourself, "if I am given another opportunity, can I do it better and differently? Such thoughts don't need noise; Such a thought is that of creation. But what is happening now is not creation but destruction.

After destroying their marriage, they are now destroying themselves. They don't know their words have the power to kill ones happiness and therefore it is needful to think through before saying somethings. The two contributed immensely to the fall of their marriage and if any of them want to have a better relationship in the future, it requires learning.

Learning is done in silence, not with noise. As painful as the break up maybe, one needs to remember life's greatest lessons are usually learnt at the worst times and from the worst mistakes.

Until they are able to embrace their collective mistake, learn to ignore ignorance, neglect negativity and disregard what one might see as disrespectful, none of them is ready for the next level of success in their next relationships.

Success has failure, success is not for the faint hearted, the weak or immature. Even the best marriages made their mistakes. The difference between them and that of Funny Face's marriage is, they decided to learn from their mistake and start over with the same partner.

If you decide to go your separate ways, it means you might choose someone else in future to start a new relationship. Which means you are bound to make more mistakes. If you are not learning from what you have already, what shows your next relationship will be a success?

I cry for anyone who is in a relationship with these two individuals due to the way they are behaving now. Marriage is not for boys and girls. Marriage is more difficult than business or career. If you are going to marry someone because you see him or her succeed in their various vocation then you got it all wrong.

There are many successful entrepreneurs, business tycoons, with branches of businesses employing hundreds of great men or women and managing them successfully, yet failed to make their relationship with one person work in marriage. The question is, was this one individual more powerful than any of the hundreds of employees? The answer is NO.

Funny Face and the Ex-wife have enough to reflect on, they should let their mistake make them humble rather than the disgraceful achievement they are embarking on. One partner thinking he or she is right doesn't mean their counterpart is wrong. You have not been in their shoes or seen life from their side of view.

In conclusion "The more talk, the less truth; the wise measure their words" - Proverbs 10:19 (MSG).

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