The fear of turning 40, losing $80k got me depressed – Okyeame Kwame

Award-winning musician, Kwame Nsiah-Apau, known by his stage name Okyeame Kwame has revealed that he went through a phase of depression in 2016 over fear of turning 40 years old.

Speaking in an interview with Bola Ray on Starr Chat on Starr FM Thursday, the Rap Doctor as he’s nicknamed said he feared his ideas would be old and his relevance in the music industry would be no more.

"I was 39 and turning 40 years old. I had written an article on my fear of the big four zero and almost everything that I feared…that I will lose my audience share, and then I’m going to be old, my ideas will be old, what are young people listening to, and observing that the average age of the Ghanaian is between 21 to 27 years. I’m thinking I’m going to lose it.

"I remember that when I was much younger I used to ask my Mom how old are you and she’ll say 40 years and I would respond you’re too old. It is not just the fear of approaching 40, but the manifestation of what I was afraid of. Going to organize an event, but people are not coming.

"At that time, you know that the work we are doing is based on a social validation system, how many Instagram likes did you get, and how many people shared? And business investors are interested in those figures and say that your worth is based on that external validation. Stupid as I was, I made it get it to me.”

The ‘Yeeko’ hitmaker further disclosed that losing $80,000 which he invested in his music business also contributed to his depression.

"I had invested a lot of money in my career that didn’t work. I put up billboards, I did rebranding and it didn’t work. I lost about $80,000. So that one, plus the shows not coming, plus my fear of the 40 years…the cock came home to roost. All the little things…so I felt inadequate, I am nothing, I am a nobody.”

Okyeame Kwame said it took him a whole year to recover.