Dear GhanaWeb,

I’m a 30-year-old man married to a 37-year-old woman.

We’ve been together for two years, and while we’re still trying to have a child, with hope and medical support, there’s something much deeper in our marriage that’s weighing heavily on me.

My wife has very poor hygiene, and it’s becoming unbearable.

She doesn’t like bathing regularly or washing her clothes. If I don’t step in, she can wear the same bra or underwear for days, sometimes even weeks.

I often have to remove the dirty ones myself and replace them with clean ones just so she’ll wear something fresh. It’s not just uncomfortable, it’s deeply concerning.

She frequently deals with infections and ends up taking antibiotics, yet she doesn’t seem to connect it to her habits.

When I try to bring it up, no matter how gently, she shuts me down and says she’s lived like this all her life and won’t be controlled.

Meanwhile, she struggles with body odour but prefers to mask it with heavy perfume instead of addressing the root issue.

Our home life isn’t any easier. Even though we both work, she earns more and covers most of the bills. Because of that, she expects me to handle everything at home, cooking, cleaning, and laundry.

She contributes almost nothing domestically and gets upset if I ask for help. She spends most of her free time in bed on her phone, even on weekends. The environment we live in reflects this.

She’s comfortable with mess, dirty bedsheets, unflushed toilets; it doesn’t bother her. But it bothers me a lot.

I feel like I’m carrying the entire household alone, and it’s exhausting.

Our intimacy has also taken a hit. There are days she won’t brush her teeth, and it makes physical closeness difficult.

Yet she complains that I’m not being romantic. It’s frustrating because I feel like I’m trying my best under very difficult circumstances.

Whenever I try to address these issues, she brings up money, reminding me that she pays most of the bills, that we live in her company apartment, and that I use her car.

She even suggests that if I want her to contribute at home, I should start paying rent. That doesn’t feel like a partnership; it feels transactional.

Despite all this, I don’t want my marriage to fail. I still care about her and want us to work, but I’m drained and don’t know how much longer I can keep going like this.

How do you live with someone you love when their habits are affecting your health, your peace of mind, and your relationship, and they refuse to change? I need your suggestions, please.

FG/EB

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