Dear GhanaWeb,

I am a 28-year-old man in a relationship with a woman who is four years older than me. She is 32, and from the very beginning, our age difference has never been an issue.

I love her deeply and remain fully committed to spending the rest of my life with her.

We have been together for one year and three months, and we are already making plans to marry, either in December this year or January next year.

To show my seriousness, I began contributing financially toward our wedding preparations.

My goal is to save GH₵100,000 for the ceremony we both dream of, and so far, I have contributed about GH₵60,000.

Until recently, I had no doubts about marrying her. But for the past four months, she has been raising an idea that leaves me unsettled.

She believes that before marriage, we should both date other people to “explore” and “have fun” one last time.

According to her, this would spice up our relationship and prevent marriage from becoming boring.

She insists she has not acted on the idea because she wants my approval first, so we can both start at the same time.

The problem is that I do not want this arrangement. I have no interest in sharing the woman I love, nor do I wish to pursue another woman.

Beyond the emotional discomfort, dating someone else would require time, energy, and money that I would rather invest in the relationship we already have.

When I tell her this, she says she understands, but she continues to bring up the idea almost daily.

She reassures me that she would never sleep with another man and that any outside relationship would only involve conversations and outings.

Still, I cannot shake the fear that once I agree, someone else may become intimately involved with her.

What troubles me most is her belief that marriage is naturally dull and requires this kind of “exploration” beforehand, even though she has never been married herself.

I am beginning to feel pressured into accepting something that goes against my values and my understanding of commitment.

I love this woman and still want to marry her, but I cannot ignore how uncomfortable her proposal makes me.

Am I being too traditional for refusing to let my fiancée date other men before our wedding, or is this a warning sign I should take seriously before settling down with her? What advice would you give me?


FG/EB


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