Nigeria Threatens to Leave Africa!

Abuja - Following the expected loss of AU chairmanship to Boni Yayi of Benin Republic, President Goodluck Ebeble Jonathan’s administration today threatened to breakaway from Africa and form an independent continent of Nigeria.

In a terse press release signed by Mr. Reuben Abati, Nigeria stated:

"Since Africa does not consider our President, Dr Goodluck Ebele Jonathan good enough for the Chairmanship of the African Union, then Africa does not deserve our presence on the Continent."

Following the statement, Africa's most populous nation has given the AU an ultimatum of 1 week to regroup and crown GEJ the head of the prestigious union otherwise there shall be consequences.

The press release also advised the advisory body of AU not to bother trying to contact GEJ on the matter as it is non-negotiable. The document pointed out that the Nigerian president is currently too busy negotiating with more important personalities like Boko Haram who the AU should not force him to exile to their countries.

Meanwhile, ministers, cabals, and members of parliament are believed to have secretly convened to decide how Nigeria’s breaking away from Africa should be organized to ensure that the Igbos and other Southerners do not use the opportunity to slip away into the Atlantic with their oil and also form their own continent.