Marriage Power

I have lived in Africa, Europe and America, and I have observed the dynamics of many African marriages. I have observed that in many African marriages, which-ever party has the upper hand of power in the marriage plays it to their advantage.

If men realize that the power system favors them, they mostly use it to their own advantage, against the women. On the other hand, when the women also get to now that the power system favors them, they also learn to play it hard against the men, sometimes.

MAN POWER - AFRICA

African men draw much of their marriage power from their cultural and traditional systems. I have observed that in Africa power in the marriage is skewed tradition-ally to favor the men. Men are given such absolute power in marriages that if they choose to play it hard against their women, usually, the women have only a lit-tle say.

So, under their traditional coats, the men could choose to flirt around, marry many more women without permis-sion from their current wives, spend their moneys the way they choose and bring in any other extra-marital kids as they please – all to the chagrin of their present wives.

Simply put, in traditional Africa, it is Man Power – men talk, women listen. Women must be seen, not heard.

WOMAN POWER – AMERICA

The dynamics of marriage power almost reverses when you get to Europe or America. Over here, it is either mu-tual power in the marriage or Woman power. The Afri-can traditional power source of men is totally truncated by civil law. The African woman, all of a sudden discov-ers that she is much recognized and empowered here than in Africa. She therefore discovers her self-worth and dig-nity, and thus becomes naturally emboldened ‘to seek and save that which was lost’. Then she also grabs her new-found voice and power, and sometimes plays it hard to her advantage - depending on the type of husband she’s got.

MY OBSERVATION

Sometimes, I hear some African men say that their women are bad. Other times I hear the African women complain that their men are rather the bad ones.
My observation is that, it is neither the African men that are bad nor the African women. It is human nature that is always sinful, selfish and bad. Human nature is such that whoever has the power tends to use it to their unfair ad-vantage – be they men or women, African or American, black or white, rich or poor. “All have sinned and fall short of the standard of God”

THE ANSWER

The answer to the use and abuse of marriage power is God’s Word and Jesus power. Only the word of God is able to save our sinful, selfish, bad souls and cause our minds to be renewed towards the proper use of Marriage Power. Without that marriages shall always be by the law of the jungle – survival of the fittest. But the Word of God is able to save our souls, if we allow it.
“And let not your behavior be like that of this world, but be changed and made new in mind, so that by ex-perience you may have knowledge of the good and pleasing and complete purpose of God.” (Romans 12:2)

[By Pastor Frank Opoku-Amoako,
Senior Pastor of Destiny Life International Church,
8785 Commerce Court, Manassas, Virginia 20110.
Website: www.destinylifeusa.org ]