President J.A. Kufuor has been stripped naked by the Media Analyst Group, MAG, as a half-baked Presidential material who as a result was involved in so many un-Presidential acts that breached the security of the state and promoted corruption in the country.

The sentiments of the MAG were contained in a press statement signed by its Spokesperson, Alfred Kojo Triddles and released to congratulate the ex-President on the occasion of his 72nd birthday which he celebrated yesterday.

While congratulating J.A. Kufuor, the MAG said it associates itself fully with his recent statement that Presidents in Africa should be groomed. They said Ex-President Kufuor obviously made the comment after sober reflections of his acts of omission and commission during his tenure of office.

The MAG said the ex-President was asking for persons to be groomed for the Presidency because he had realised that it was because he was not groomed for the highest office of the land that he found himself, while being President of Ghana, involved in various disgraceful acts some of which borders on criminality. Below is a full transcript of the press release unedited

Kufuor Speaks The Truth As He Clocks 72

On the occasion of his 72nd birthday, we, the Media Analysts Group (MAG), congratulate former President John Agyekum Kufuor for making it this far.

72 years in the life of any person is certainly a milestone and so former President Kufuor has every right to revel in the number of years that God has given him.

We want to state for the records that just before he hit 72, President Kufuor made a statement which we associate with 100%.

According to former President Kufuor, it is important that African Presidents are “groomed” before they assume office because that is the surest way of ensuring that African Presidents conduct themselves in ways that will be acceptable and most importantly, inure to the benefit of the nations they govern.

The MAG agrees 100% with the statement that Mr. Kufuor made.

We agree with Mr. Kufuor because we believe that 2 years after leaving office, and upon sober reflection, President Kufuor has come to the realization that if had been groomed sufficiently before assuming the high office of President, he would not have done a lot of the unacceptable things that he did.

It is more than obvious that former President Kufuor is regretting that he made a lot of mistakes and would not wish for any other President to follow in his footsteps hence his acceptable admonishing.

After all, experiences is the best teacher; and we believe that the experiences of Mr. Kufuor is what has brought him to the rather belated realization that Presidents need to be groomed before assuming office.

However, as they say, better late than never.

For the records, we are listing some of the things that former President Kufuor would not have done if he had been groomed before assuming office.

1. President Kufuor would not have said that corruption started from the days of Adam

2. President Kufuor would not visited Togo on 13th January, 2001, to go and join Eyadema celebrate the anniversary of one of the bloodiest coups in Africa

3. President Kufuor would not have turned the Castle into the center of kickbacks

4. President Kufuor would not have used the TOR Debt Recovery Levy to bribe certain journalists to be singing his praises

5. President Kufuor would not have used the taxpayers money to purchase expensive gold chains to put around his neck for the BBC to liken him to rap artiste, 50 Cents

6. President Kufuor would not have used his son to front for him to buy Hotel de Waa Waa

7. President Kufuor would not have allowed his daughter Nana Ama to own the huge shopping mall at Spintex Junction

8. President Kufuor would not have told Ghanaians that we are lazy that is why don’t have money in our pockets

9. President Kufuor would not have travelled all over the world just because of per diem

10. President Kufuor would not have allegedly gotten drunk in Washington and miss a scheduled interview with VOA’s Shaka Ssali only Kwabena Agyepong to lie that the President got caught up in traffic

11. President Kufuor would not have gotten into an amorous relationship with Gizelly Yatjzi for the woman to be claiming that she had raw sex with Kufuor out of which she has twins – Philip & John Kufuor

12. President Kufuor would not have allowed Ghana to become the Cocaine Coast of the world

13. President Kufuor would not have allowed Wereko Brobbey and Kwadwo Mpiani to loot the resources of the state under the guise of celebrating Ghana at 50

14. President Kufuor would not have said that he sees corruption on a daily basis and tells corruption to go and come back the next day

15. President Kufuor would not have allowed Akufo-Addo to withdraw the courtesies of former President Rawlings

16. President Kufuor would not have allowed NPP policemen to storm the house of Professor Atta Mills to go and harass and traumatize Mrs. Naadu Mills under the guise of retrieving stolen vehicles

17. President Kufuor would not have thrown Tsatsu Tsikata into jail for no apparent reason

18. President Kufuor would not have granted presidential pardon to hardened armed robbers on the eve of his leaving office only for one of them to set up an armed robbery academy in Ashaiman to be training the youth how to master the deviant art

19. President Kufuor would not have sold Ghana Telecom and pocketed over $30 million

20. President Kufuor would not have deliberately collapsed Ghana Airways and taken over the assets of the company

The above are just a few of the thousands of the things that Kufuor would not have done had he been sufficiently groomed before becoming the President of Kwame Nkrumah’s Ghana.

All in all, the MAG wishes to once again wish former President Kufuor a happy 72nd birthday and hope and pray that as the years roll by, he will continue to realize his mistakes and give good and wise counsel so that given the opportunity, the youth of Ghana will not commit the mistakes that former President Kufuor committed.

Paapa Kufuor, “ye ma wu ntri nkwa!!!”