Letter From The President: Harsh Tones

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

I am gladdened by the large number of fan mail I have received from you. There are hundreds of them. Some of you commend me, others condemn me. Many of you want me to live longer than I want to. Others have threatened to hasten my passage to the other world. Some of you think that I am not really the Excellent One of Sikaman and that I am a phoney who is trying to take the whole nation for an unnecessary ride. Others think that I am really the Excellent One and they have even been trying to court my favour by telling me about how I am related to their father?s and grandfathers as well as my libidinous escapades with their mothers, sisters and grandmothers. It all goes to show that my letters are read by a lot of people, inside Sikaman and abroad. I am glad that I can continue to stay awake at night and task my fickle mind to write to you, knowing very well that my letters will not be ignored. It?s such a good feeling, you know.