Letter From The President: Cheap Honours

Countrymen and women, praise-singers and bootlickers,
There has been a little domestic turbulence in my house. I am very angry with Mama Tess and if someone does not intervene soon the ramifications of my domestic disturbance would be too much for Sikaman to bear. I have been angered so much that I am not talking with Mama Tess, I am not eating her food and even though the cold weather has hiked my libido, I am in no mood to engage in any bedmatics with her.

Mama Tess has hurt my feelings so bad that I have been weeping like little baby whose mother has run out of breast milk. How did she do it? A little over a week ago, she attended a programme at which she was given an honour she does not deserve by a group of ethnocentric Brong Ahafo citizens within our New Promises Party. The group calling itself the Brong Ahafo Patriotic Action Caucus also honoured some other citizens of the region for their contribution towards uplifting the region.