'Apapransa to wear Ghana jersey?'

Don’t get too close to a Husband and Wife who are in good terms o. Konkonsa? Gossip? They would gossip and say all kinds of things about you both positive and negative. They don’t see it as gossiping o but they see it as singing of love songs to each other. Please who can tell me the Ayigbe name for ‘thermometer’?

In my wife’s language, it is called ‘shhhhhhhh’. Is it true? Anyway whether true or false, you don’t have the power to doubt what you don’t know so to the best of my knowledge, it is neither here nor there! It’s just like being visually challenged and given jollof rice as fried rice to eat.

Do you have a choice that’s why I don’t joke with my eyes apart from using them to look at girls! Hahahaha! It is weekend again and next week, Jesus will be betrayed and crucified again but He will resurrect to continue to save me and you, our lives. Amen!

It’s been one month of Ghana Month and JOY did justice to the month when it came to knowing more about Ghana with a lot of flagship discussions. The one that intrigued me the most was the one concerning the Ghanaian dish / meal that can be identified and promoted internationally.

I was a bit surprised that a resource person settled on apapransa following some research bi that they had done. Apapransa to wear Ghana jersey? Do we even need a research into this exercise? According to her, the research indicated that it is eaten everywhere.

I have a variant opinion. Trust Winston and his Team; I was glad they subtly requested the possibility of doing another research again. I personally don’t remember the last time I ate apapransa. Yes, it comprises most of the ingredients that go into its preparation. But apapransa can easily get you full in no time and the desire to have it again may not occur immediately. You eat a little and you are already ‘fed up’.

Lexis took it up in the afternoon and my personal favourite virtually won! Kris Brown (konkonte) is the big deal. It is the only meal my mum told us when we were kids that it is good for the treatment of stomach ulcer though I know that was poverty talk (disclaimer: not scientifically proven). I was surprised fufu was not really coming close to konkonte even though I personally eat fufu at least four times in a week.

I just love fufu and when foreigners come to Ghana, they eat fufu with a lot of delight, sometimes with fork and knife and they go back with fond memories!

Then a caller phoned in and said the food that should wear Ghana jersey to the food world cup is ‘fetri toto’. ‘Fetri what’? Lexis queried after he got dazed a bit by the mention of ‘toto’. I knew what he was thinking but it is what it is. Hahahaha! ‘Fetri detsi’ or okro soup is very popular across Ghana.

However, what it goes with determines who the torch-bearer is. If it is akple and fetri detsi, we all know where to drive towards. But ‘fetri toto’? Ha! Don’t say this before my neighbor, Ataa Nikoi o! The difference is simple: whereas fetri detsi is typically characterized by the chopping / slicing of the okro into pieces with a knife before being cooked, ‘fetri toto’ is simply ‘grated okro’! It comes in different forms.

Sometimes ‘fetri toto’ can be fresh okro put on fire and ground and prepared into soup and it can be really nice. In some other parts of the country, ‘fetri toto’ has different means by which it is prepared. The dried okro is ground close to being in a powdery form and prepared into soup.

Having lived with my Kasena neighbours in Kisseman growing up, they called it ‘kuka’. It is so nice and can go with tuo zaafi and anything prepared from grains! In my opinion, I think if there is any food that should be marketed internationally, fufu has the upper hand because it has already been marketed to some extent and leveraging on that will make it a big deal. Ghana fufui is great. I don’t know of any part of the country where fufu is not eaten, generally!

So now you know. It is not the kind of ‘toto’ as we know in Greek as ‘in tou-tou’ which means ‘in details’. If you are thinking something else, Jesus is coming next week.

But you know the desire for a particular meal is subjective. I may enjoy what another person may condemn. Some too, we would be allergic to. Personally, I don’t take pineapples because it gives me reactions of severe migraine for many days. For a friend, it cures her migraine! That is food for you!

Ei! They say some people went to vote in a particular way and so they have violated something something. Some people have probably not heard of my friend who went to stand on the ticket of MPT in the Vorta Region and voted against himself! The reality only dawned on him after he was done casting his vote. My area? It is beyond the physical o.

You vote in a certain way before you know you have ‘made a mistake’ by which time it would be too late. Vorta and you want to be MPT NP? Ayooo! Hmmm! Good luck! Those who are calling for investigations into the distin are just wasting everybody’s time. Just line all the ‘suspects’ up and tell them ‘we are matching to Nogokpo to go and prove our innocence’.

Hehehehe! It is then nothing in the constitution, the Bible or the Quran would make any meaning. As for the Bible and Koran di333, we don’t fear them kraaa o! Anyway, as for me and my people eat their eworkple and fetri detsi but I will vote for fufu and any type of soup any day. Try Sokod3 fufu or fufu prepared in Bolga.

Food di333, don’t go there. I once used my pet goat for light soup and it was not be a bad idea at all but…. Heyheyhey! Eeeeei! I invited only a few guys to chop my bachelors night on the eve of my wedding. I was not expecting more than 15 friends. Before I could say jack more than 150 cars were parked around.

One goat, 150 cars with their ‘contents’? How! Each car had an average of at least 2 human beings. Almost 300 adults with good appetite and only one goat! Alex, my paddy advised me to get the caterers to add more pepper, at least half a sack of chilli pepper (akwele waabi) pounded pepper into the soup and make available a lot of pure water. In fact the good news was that the taps in my house were flowing that evening. T

his was to be a rendition of the miracle story Jesus feeding 5,000 people with two tilapia and aboolo. You won’t believe that everybody was served ‘satisfactorily’ that night and we still had the head of the goat remaining. If you don’t use your head your body will suffer! Kai! Each person was served a piece of goat meat and some soup around it as a special 4G soup.

Believe me, most people couldn’t finish this one piece of meat after tasting and drinking the soup. The next thing was to ask for water. Some drunk almost two buckets of tap water just to ‘cool’ the effects of the pepper.

The pepper was really hot and probably only good for some type of smokers! Only 2 notorious friends of mine managed to finish their meat and soup and were still fine even though one could see that their eyes turned red. I don’t know what they smoke but I suspected them paaa! The rest drank water saaaaaaaaaa till their bladders were ready to explode. hmmmm!

My small goat and you people had plans and brought your girlfriends along to come and eat and go. Don’t you think fufu and this type of soup wont be a bad idea to be identified as Ghana food? Anaa? As for gob3, I won’t recommend it for the international market unless of course the country in which it should be marketed is in dire need of biogas!

This my goat was so stubborn I often would go crazy anytime I see it trying to cough especially after having eaten beans the previous day. Not really about the coughing it coughs but the atuabo gas that it emits from behind anytime it does in an attempt to compete with me.

It is perhaps the only animal that passes gas conspicuously as humans do. It coughs and then you can hear. It sneezes, you can hear and walk shamelessly ahead of you, unconcerned.

So this week, when the American Vice-President visited Ghana, what did she eat? Shhhh! Don’t tell anybody yet. This is where a research is actually required. Trust me, that would be her endorsement of the Ghana food to the world and people will come on tour to Ghana to eat that kind of food.

American Ablavi, God bless you for your visit o and remember to greet my Uncle, President Biden for me! Ajeeeei!