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Opinions of Saturday, 4 April 2020

Columnist: Francis Pious Egoeh

Domestic voilence; the untold story of men

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Hmmm! most men are really suffering in the hands of women when it comes to domestic violence but the storyline out there is always different. Any time we hear of domestic violence in our homes, what normally comes to mind is the women. No one cares about the men. Do you know why? It is very simple because we have been made to believe that domestic violence is only meted out to women. What mythos!

Do you know the number of men who are crying in silence because of domestic violence meted out to them by women especially their wives ranging from slaps, beatings, starvation thus food and the most annoying aspect of it all is sexual denial from their wives. All these are not domestic violence because those who are involved are men.

Women, please the same way you hate domestic violence meted out to you from men, know that the story is not different from the camp of men. Let’s have it on record that, domestic violence is not only tied to women. It is a two sided issue. Most men are really going through a lot too. But why the silence?

The men are not able to report issues of domestic violence to the appropriate authorities because people or society will not even believe their stories. Even if they do, they will, first of all, make a mockery out of it. We have this belief that men are always in control of issues forgetting that, they are also human and whatever that affects women can equally affect them too.

Men are been beaten by their wives on a daily basis, but hardly would you have heard of this kind of brutality that comes from our women (wives). If you have not been a victim of domestic violence brutality meted out to men by women, I strongly believe that your father, your brother(s) and your uncle(s) might have been a victim. You need not be a victim of domestic violence brutality meted out to men by their wives before you believe it. You might have seen or heard of it before.

I think it is time for men to rise up to speak without fear or favor concerning what they go through in the hands of women when it comes to domestic violence brutality. A paradigm shift is needed in this regard. The silence from the men has to cease.

The emotional trauma, the psychological trauma and the mental trauma the women go through because of domestic violence is not different from what the men also go through.

So, why society can’t also recognized this brutality that men go through in the hands of women when we are talking about domestic violence issues. They also deserve the advocacy or the publicity from the authorities and the media the same way women also do.

This way, when there is domestic violence brutality meted out to men, they can also go out there boldly to speak about it without minding the societal stigmatization that comes with it.

Men! Men!! Men!!! please let us speak now about the kind of domestic violence brutality we do receive from women. Remember, silence is more deadly than the current Covid-19 pandemic befalling the world now. So let us speak now! I am yet to join the table of men in some years to come but I really feel what they are going through in the hands of women brutality. I need not to be a married person before I speak or talk about domestic violence men do receive from women.

Women please and please treat your husband’s well. I have noticed that women control everything in the home when they have some small money and their husbands are not all that financially stable. Let love lead.

I know I am a neophyte when it comes to husband and wife issue but hey! All that I am saying is that, let us stop domestic violence now! We all need gender equity in all aspects of life.

The men also deserve better when it comes to domestic violence brutality. Let stop domestic violence in any form.

Don’t forget to stay at home, COVID-19 is real.

This too shall pass.

Email: francispiousegoeh@gmail.com