Letter From The President: Dangerous Tribal Politics

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,
I am still nursing my ego, deflated by the people of the Volta Region. I feel so hurt and there?s absolutely nothing anyone can do about it. The people of the Volta region have shown me that nothing I do will impress them ? i.e. ?every dance move of mine in their territory just emphasizes my crooked waist?, as my elders like to say. From their behaviour during my recent campaign tour, disguised as an official visit, I am certain that they do not like me one bit and that all my antics, gimmicks and publicity stunts (even taking dozens of journalists to tour the region to highlight our ?development projects? there) have not been beneficial to me in anyway. Indeed, I?ve suffered in vain. All the roads I?ve built, all the job opportunities I?ve created and all the KVIPs I?ve provided meant nothing to them and therefore, I am not going to win any significant number of votes from there.

The people of the Volta Region have also shown me that they can express their dislike for me in any way they like. I still can?t believe what they did.