Letter from The President: Money Palaver

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

Events over the past couple of weeks have given me the impression that money is a very bad thing. Apart from being the root of all evil, money (and the search for it) can cause governments to fall. My mind has been a little bit ?nyaa? over some money-related issues, particularly relating to our wild goose chase for a loan and pressure to increase fuel prices. I think some ?forces? have conspired to confuse me with money. They know that in my confusion I could cause my own downfall by disgracing our nation and creating widespread national discontent.

I am still undergoing therapy to undo the confusion brought upon me by these money matters. Being the excellently, intelligent man you know me to be, I have already been able to determine that I need to take drastic action to save myself (and my government) from torrential backlash, which could lead to our downfall.