Letter from The President: Unwanted Graduates

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

I feel like sacking someone. If I had been home last week, I think that person would have been the Education Minister. I might also have kicked the butt of the Director General of the Education Service, just for good measure and to show how angry I am.

I can?t sack the Education Minister because I feel it?s a bad omen to sack someone when I am sleeping in a hotel in a far away land and my butt is not firmly stuck on the Black Star Stool. What if he gets so embittered that he decides to put together a bunch of crooks to overthrow me, instantly rendering me homeless and almost stateless?

I fear coups, especially those that occur when the Excellent One is far away from home. So I won?t sack B. Direwu, at least, not yet. I also can?t kick the butt of the Director General of the Ghana Education Service because apart from being a minister of the gospel, the DG happens to be a woman. In these days when a whole lot of affirmative action groups have opened their eyes so wide and learnt such fancy vocabulary as ?equality? and ?gender equity?, I don?t want to be accused of being gender biased ? deliberately targeting one of the most important women in our country.