Letter From The President: National Reconciliation Circus

Countrymen and women, loyalist and opponents,

have you heard the latest announcement about the Bushman’s space invasion plans? After almost creating a mess in Iraq the Bushman intends to invade space, in search of what I don’t know. I hope it’s not weapons of mass destruction he’s looking for. If such weapons cannot be found in Iraq, perhaps he should search the White House cellars more diligently. In announcing his country’s new astronomically expensive space odyssey the Bushman said, "We will build new ships to carry man forward into the universe, to gain a new foothold on the moon and prepare for new journeys to the worlds beyond our own." I have always postulated that when one satisfies the gods of the stomach, the cells of the brain are prompted into rapid and increasing ceaseless random movements which could cause the human being to act very wisely, sometimes trying inhuman feats. When the gods in the stomach are not satisfied the movement of the brain cells become dull and predictable. In this case the human being is very likely to behave foolishly, often engaging in very ordinary and banal ventures. (I will expand and clarify this theory in a future letter.)