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Opinions of Friday, 18 March 2011

Columnist: Fela O Fela

Nana Akuffo Addo Bows Down to President Mills

The audience at the Thanksgiving Service to commemorate the 54th anniversary of Ghana's Independence had a treat of a lifetime when they saw the flagbearer of the New Patriotic Party, Nana Addo Danquah Akuffo Addo, gave the President of Ghana the warmest embrace that was enough to make any romantic couple jealous.

This surprising turn of events comes just weeks of the entire nation was frightened to death by a callous statement made by Nana Akuffo Addo when, in the company of party functionaries and sympathizers, threatened "Rwanda" or better yet, armageddon of the genocidal proportion on the good people of Ghana (specifically, Ghanaians of non-Akan origin) if, one way or the other, he does not emerge as the president of the Republic of Ghana come the 2012 election.

After refusing to acknowledge the results of the electoral commission and "concede defeat" appropriately to the winner of the 2008 election, and after his perpetual campaign characterized by tribalist and terrorist innuendoes having failed, and after realizing that his support base was fast dissipating, and he is quickly losing popularity, Nana Akuffo Addo has finally succumb to the fact that he has no choice but to BOW DOWN TO "THE CHOSEN KING" of the people of Ghana, His Excellency, John Evans Fiifi Atta Mills.

Eyewitness reports has it that Akuffo Addo got down on both knees, kissed the presidential pinky ring, and begged for forgiveness for his all-die-be-die gaffe, and when the President Mills accepted his apology, the seemingly excited Akuffo Addo then gave the commander-in-chief the biggest hug that almost suffocated the sinus-embattled, indefatigable president.

"Yes....that's the way it ought to be.... now and forever more. That fool needs to know his place, habaa" as someone in the crowd was overheard saying.

From our sources close to the dais, the exact words of the errant flagbearer were, "Dear 'father for all', I come here with much regrets heavily laid on my shoulders to apologize for my clandestine and bastardous acts. It was all out of desperation and sporadic effects of long term substance abuse. So please do find it in your merciful, asomdwehene heart to forgive me. And I have come to the midst of all these believers of our lord Jesus Christ to pray for my full recovery so as to come to my senses."

The president then replied, "My son, my old friend, who am I to be the judge of man's iniquities and reckless behaviors, .....it was important for me to act in the best interest of the state hence my issuance of the 'red alert'. ....but worry not, my son, for the lord's will shall surely be done..... And to err is human, to forgive is certainly divine. You are free to go."

The elated Nana Akuffo Addo then reportedly jumped up and shouted, ...."Really......Thank you, Massa........you are the best," then gave the president a big hug. Weeping uncontrollably like an awakened prodigal son, the emotional opposition leader was then pulled away by the president's special security details/presidential guards in order to allow the president to go about the manifestation of his Better Ghana agenda.

Wonders never cease o. Keep Hope Alive!

Que Sera, Sera! What Will be Will be!

Eye Zuu, Eye Zaa!

Author: FELA O FELA: NPP BONE-CRUSHER Felaofela@gmail.com