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Opinions of Tuesday, 18 January 2011

Columnist: The Ghanaian Lens

Jake Needs Urgent Medical Attention!!!

In the wake of NPP Chairman, certficateless Jake Otanka Obetsebi Lamptey, running his mouth and saying that President Atta Mills is destroying the image of Ghana, NDC firebrand, Bernard Allotey Jacobs, has called for Jake to immediately see a psychiatrist to examine his head.

Bernard Allotey Jacobs, Communications Director of the NDC in the Central Region, has stated that he is very sure that Jake is suffering from a rare mental disease because if Jake was compos mentis, he should be the last person talking

Speaking to The Ghanaian Lens, Allotey Jacobs posits that if Jake was “100%”, he would have opened his mouth in the wrong direction.

According to Allotey, Jake Obetsebi Lamptey should be the last person to be talking about President Atta Mills destroying the image of the country because Jake does not have an iota of credibility.

“So because President Atta Mills has decided that he will not send Ghanaian troops to go and die foolish deaths in Cote d’Iviore that is why he is destroying the image of Ghana?” Allotey asked rhetorically.

“If President Mills’ strong stance in not wanting to commit Ghanaian troops to a foolish and senseless war is what is making him destroy the image of Ghana, then the President will continue to destroy the image of Ghana” Allotey added According to Allotey Jacobs, wives and children of Ghanaian soldiers should be thanking their God that Akufo-Addo is not the Commander-in-Chief of the Ghana Armed Forces because it is more than clear that if the NPP flagbearer was President at this point in time, wives and children will become husbandless and fatherless.

The Central Region Communications Director of the NDC cannot believe that Jake has the audacity to talk about the image of the country being destroyed when every Tom Dick and Harry knows how President Atta Mills’s strong fight against the illegal narcotics trade, has rebuilt the image of Ghana. It is a matter of fact that under the watch of Kufuor, and with Jake as an active participant, Ghana became a major transit point for the illicit transatlantic drug trade.

Thanks to Kufuor, Akufo-Addo, and the likes of Jake, between 2001 and 2008, drug barons and their couriers were in possession of Ghana’s diplomatic passports. “Today, Ghana is no longer the Cocaine Coast and most well-meaning Ghanaians are happy that the President has restored pride and dignity to the nation by leading the fight against the narcotics trade” Allotey said.

“Of course, Jake and the Narcotics Peddlers are not happy that President Mills is hurting their drug trade that is why the NPP Chairman is talking by heart” Allotey said.

According to Allotey, if he was Jake, he would hide himself in view of how Jake has lost whatever credibility that he used to have.

According to Allotey, in 2000, Jake was really a political Maradona but by the time the NPP was booted out of power in 2008, Jake had become a political disaster who had been reduced to nothingness by his own NPP Administration. “Having started off as Chief of Staff and Minister for Presidential Affairs, it was a disgrace for Jake to have ended up as a Minister who was in-charge of building statues in roundabouts as well as chasing goats and sheep under the guise of beautifying the capital city” Allotey said.

Jake; who used state funds to renovate a government bungalow and wanted to buy the bungalow for a song and a dance, is the one who is talking about the image of the nation?

When it comes to the issue of a President destroying the image of Kwame Nkrumah’s Ghana, it is as clear as daylight that Kufuor really worked hard to destroy the image of Ghana.

Where was Jake when Kufuor destroyed Ghana’s image by getting drunk in Washington and missing a scheduled interview with VOAs Shaka Ssali only for Kwabena Agyepong to tell a silly lie that Kufuor got caught up in traffic that is why he missed the interview? Where was Jake when Kufuor destroyed the image of Ghana by pronouncing FIFA as “FYFA” because he was drooling at the mouth at the sight of the buttocks of a lady who was MCing a FIFA Awards ceremony at the Accra International Conference Center?

Where was Jake when Kufuor destroyed the image of Ghana by having raw sex with Giselle Yatjzi only for the woman to turn round and constantly insult Kufuor on the airwaves because he has refused to take care of the twins that Giselle begat for him?

Where was Jake when the image of Ghana was being destroyed because the size of Kufuor’s penis became the subject of daily discussion because Giselle kept giving a vivid account of her sexual encounters with Kufuor?

Where was Jake when two female Ghanaian journalists who were part of Kufuor’s delegation to an AU Summit destroyed the image of Ghana in Ethiopia because they fought publicly over who should be given the priority to have sex with Kufuor? Where was Jake when Kufuor constantly destroyed the image of Ghana with his faulty grammar cum bad grasp of the English language?

Per the revelation from Maxwell Kofi Jumah, where was Jake when Kufuor was destroying the image of the country by having sex with women (both married and unmarried) before giving them appointments?

Since Jake Obetsebi Lamptey is a known alcoholic, it would not be farfetched if the point is made that certficateless Jake Otanka Obetsebi Lamptey was heavily “toasted” when he passed judgment on the image of Ghana for the two years that President Atta Mills has been in-charge of the affairs of the state.

It would be recalled that Chuck Kofi Wayo sometime in 2002/3, gave a vivid account of Jake’s addiction to Vodka and how by 7pm every evening Jake is completely “toasted”, and in his drunken stupor, refers to Kufuor as an “Ashanti bastard” because it is a fact that Kufuor does not know his real biological father who is believed to a Moshie from Burkiana Faso.