My Telephone Conversation With Obama!

After the illustrious son of Africa, Barack Obama has left Ghana on the July 12, 2009; I decided to call him because the sermon he delivered to Ghanaians and Africans was too far beyond my comprehension. As a matter of fact, he gave me enough time and this was what ensued between us.

Confidence: Mr. Obama, at the beginning of the main body of your speech, you stated that “We must start from the simple premise that Africa’s future is up to Africans.” Are you insinuating that we should not invest our hopes in you?

Obama: Exactly, Africa has received aids donkey years before I was born. So, if thousand years of aid to Africa did not make any impact on Africa then my 4 or 8 years of aids to Africa cannot perform any miracle either.

Confidence: I have lost hope in you Mr. Obama. Do you know all principals’ streets across Africa shout your name, Obama! Obama!! Obama!!!

Obama: That is even the most annoying. These noises are sickening and deafening me! Please, Africans should know that it was Americans who voted me. So, it is better they stop these nonsensical noises and go back to work. Heaven will never break lose for goodies. Besides that “America First” is our watchword.

Confidence: Ah, Mr. Obama you said “Africans should…” Are you not an African?

Obama: So what? Did you know that my father deserted me at the mercy of my mother? Let us not go there!

Confidence: As first Black American president, what should Africa expects from you any time soon.

Obama: I am sorry; Africa is not in my agenda any time soon. I am busily working around the clock to repair George Bush’s mangled economy. In addition, there is a severe global economic recession and until America is completely out of this crisis, no left over! I have so far injected billions of dollars into the economy to sustain industries to avoid job loses.

Confidence: Hmm! That is great! Here in Ghana, we hardly hear about this economic recession. What we hear everyday is ex gratia or MPs car loans.

Obama: I said it, “Africa is for Africans” But I believe my sermon will cause a dramatic character reformation across Africa leaders who are possessed with greed-demons.

Confidence: Please, Mr. Obama, what is your position of leftovers (aids, loans, grants etc) for Africa?

Obama: African leaders merely think beyond their noses. If a child is not weaned, she can never grow. The leftovers besides been badly mismanaged and pocketed, the conditions are killing the African economies. For instance, a grant or loan may come with the following conditions: freeze public sector employment, no subsidies for public utility services, no subsidies for agricultural inputs etc. The impact of these conditions consequently lowers the living standards of the commoners. In this 21st century, African leaders cannot think that there is no free meal anywhere. If you happen to get a free meal, then it was paid for by your great grandfathers or you are yet to pay for it.

Confidence: Mr. Obama, do you second the argument that if all Africans are sent to America and all Americans sent to Africa, within a year period, Americans will go to Africa for aid?

Obama: Exactly, because most African leaders are visionless and family-centred and nearly all Africans have poor attitude to issues that can help Africa grow.

Confidence: “But the West is not responsible for the destruction of the Zimbabwean economy…”, these were your words. How can you justify that?

Obama: Actually, I meant the exact opposite. The West do not like too known and stubborn people like Mugabe. If Mugabe had not driven away the White farmers and reclaim the lands to the poor farmers in his Zimbabwe, the West would not have tempered with his country. Did you know that his people were working as slaves in these farmlands own by the Whites and all the harvest were shipped to the West?

Confidence: Tell me more Mr. Obama.

Obama: Mugabe’s decision to drive away these farmers was a minus to the West economies. So, they had to find an ingenious way by putting sanctions on the country.

Confidence: But the Americas also put sanctions on Zimbabwe. Why?

Obama: Because we are friends. Are you not aware that Tony Blair help George Bush battalions of soldiers to destroy Iraq. It is just a matter of “I scratch, you scratch”

Confidence: What about the UN sanctions?

Obama: Who is UN? America is UN and UN is America. Have you forgotten that the UN said No War in Iraq, but America bullshitted it and move ahead. So far as America is concern, the UN is a paper tiger.

Confidence: Do you think then that there is any sign of Mr. Bush being indicted for multitude of War Crimes in Iraq. His case is not an inch different from that of Mr. Charles Taylor and perhaps Omar Al-Bashir.

Obama: No one dares! Or the world is ashes! Do not joke with power! We invest more money and resources to remain the world’s most powerful nation. Let me make clear to you, the International Court of Justice are meant for Africans.

Confidence: But this is not fair! Mr. Obama.

Obama: It is fair! It will only be unfair if Africa was united. I hope you can make sense from what I mean.

Confidence: That is ok, but why did you give credit to the minority party in your address. The majority was quite not ok.

Obama: In this 21st century across Africa, no opposition can unseat the ruling party. But that is not even the case, the then ruling party was power-drunk with arrogance. They could steal the elections if they had wished.

Confidence: You asserted that “Development depend on good governance. And that is the ingredient which has been missing in far too many places” How do you convince me with this statement?

Obama: Look at America, Britain, France and the whole of Africa as an entity and answer yourself.

Confidence: “I have pledged substantial increases in our foreign assistance, which is in Africa’s interest and America’s interest”, you promised. Why America’s interest did have to come in here as a son of Africa?

Obama: The people of America are not that of people of Africa. In Africa, governments entrust resources into the hands of foreigners and aliens for a token without considering the interest of the ordinary people. In America, you will be impeached if you dare such a blunder. That is why Africa’s rich resources over the years have made no significant impact on the lives of the people.

Confidence: So, is that the reason why you chose Ghana because we have just discovered oil? Or the Africom matters?

Obama: You might be little right or little wrong. Let us find some time for that?

Confidence: The greatest part of your speech that endeared my heart was “No country is going to create wealth if its leaders exploit the economy to enrich themselves” Can you throw more light on this?

Obama: Six cars that must be changed and serviced every four years; two hi-tech mansions in and out the capital; 1 billion seed money for foundation; 14 days overseas tours; 1.2 billion pocket spending money and that largesse – all at the expense of the state for just a single man.

Confidence: Mr. Obama, I am lost by these multimillion dollar analyses. Can you go straight to the point?

Obama: Are you not in Ghana? I mean Hotel De Aw-aw!

Confidence: What about “No person wants to live in a society where the rule of law gives way to the rule of brutality and bribery” Ghana is a more civil society or?

Obama: I agree, but not for the last 8 years.

Confidence: You think, Mr. Obama, that we need strong, credible and transparent institutions – strong parliamentarians, honest police, independent judges, independent press and so on. However, I personally give premium to human rights, so do you think Ghana has independent judges?

Obama: Please, ask Tsatsu Tsikata for an answer and go to Dagbon for confirmation.

Confidence: Your speech appeared that you are all right with our media.

Obama: Yes, but not rags like the Daily Guide, Palaver, Crusading Guide and all that tribalistically sentimental junks!

Confidence: Do you know that Mr. Anass Arimeyaw Anass is for the Crusading Guide?

Obama: That is no surprise! There is good in every bad. Arimeyaw’s mentor needs to grow. His objectivity can do Ghana so much good just like the Pratts.

Confidence: Mr. Obama you expressed interest to seeing Ghana self-sufficient in food and food exportation as well. Your economy’s GDP on Agriculture is 1.2% whiles Industry is 22.3%. Why not talk about industrialisation but rather agriculturisation.

Obama: You crawl before you walk. America has passed that era. Many Africans go hungry for many days. And if you are hungry, you cannot work. African economies should put much emphasises on Agriculture to be able to feed their hungry population to get energy to industrialise Africa. Food sufficiency in Africa will do a lot of good to her economy and standard of living will at least be on the balance. Libya’s economy survived our sanctions because of their sufficiency in food. Africa must invest more on Agriculture. Africans are dying of hunger!!!

Confidence: But do you remember repeating that “Africa’s future is up to Africans” Why did you repeat it?

Obama: The African have to be reminded always. It was also to suggest that my speech might be good but they should not invest so much hope in me.

Confidence: Your conclusion was great, electrifying and aspiring. You admonished, “And I am particularly speaking to the young people all across Africa and right here in Ghana. In places like Ghana, young people make up over half of the population. And here is what you must know: the world will be what you make of it. You have the power to hold your leaders accountable and to build institutions that serve the people” I will like this to be explained to me in ABC.

Obama: I was trying to incite the youth against the African older generation because their corruptibility is beyond redemption. The younger generation should always come out with machete and guns and strike and gun down any greedy leader who seek to enrich his dearest and nearest with the resources of the masses. If this generation failed to tow a different path away from the present dark path, then Africa cannot and never develop till anti-Christ descends. Africa’s last hope is the youth, so wake up!!! Hold them up!!!

Confidence: Mr. Obama, thank you for your time. But my last question is how you felt after going through the Cape Coast Castle.

Obama: I felt terrible sorry and my voice was shaky. The slave trade was horrifying barbarity.

Confidence: Will you then recommend indemnity or reparation being paid to Ghanaians and other African countries that suffered same fate?

Obama: No, do you know that Africans were agents and merchants of this cruelty against their own people. There is no moral justification in this case!

Confidence: Thank you, Mr. Obama for you time.

Obama: I was about to leave for a meeting when you called, but all the same I will be an hour early instead of the 2 hour speculated. It is my greatest pleasure.

This conversation happened in a dream. I hope to have more telephone chat dreams with him again anytime soon. You will certainly hear another dream from me.

Abdulai Hanan R. Confidence

Nurses’ Training College, Tamale Tertiary Institutions Network (P.R.O.) [confidencegh@gmail.com]