Letter from the President: Let's get ready to rumble

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents, since this is my first letter in this my last year in office, let me say ‘Happy New Year’ to you all. I wish you all the very best of the year. I know most of you cannot wait to see me gone and you are counting down the days to my departure. Don’t worry, I will go in about a year from now.
In fact, let me say that I’m glad I’m going and I look forward to the day when I will descend from the Black Star Stool and help install a new Excellent One for Sikaman. Yes, I will miss the free trips abroad; I will miss speeding around in my convoy and I’d miss the occasional free kisses I get from those beauty queens who often come the Castle to stage a mini-pageant for me. There are so many things about this great office that I think I would like to take along with me into retirement. But you know as well as I do that life is not like that and as my Ga friends say ‘moko aya ni moko aba’. Just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes sometimes. But I will go.
I know you won’t miss me much because I believe I’m going to be handing over to a better man. I look at the field of presidential candidates and I feel very happy that I’m not going to be handing over to some nincompoop who will let all that we’ve achieved over the past few years go down the drain.
Look at Tata Mills. He’s a loser. No two ways about that. I’m proud to say that I beat him in two electoral contests and he might lose again in about 11 months. But that does not take away the fact that he’s a well-qualified, intelligent “man on integrity.” He’s a bit “borm-borm” but he’s not as boring as I am. At least he can stir up a crowd without creating any controversies. His only problem is that he’s with the wrong party.
If only Jerry Boom will shut his trap and stay away from him, Tata Mills will shed a lot of the perception that he’s the ex-president’s “poodle” and I’d expect him to do quite well in the forthcoming elections. I wouldn’t like him to be the one I hand power over to, though. A Tata Mills presidency will surely strip me of my ‘privileges’ and haul a lot of my ministers before fast track courts. I get the feeling that if he becomes president, Tata Mills will create hi-speed fast track courts to try and convict people within weeks. So it is my prayer that he doesn’t win.
The other candidate to look out for in the next elections will be the man I’ve heard people refer to on radio as ‘Uncle Nfinfim’. He’s none other than Paa Kwesi. We’ve worked together for a while and I really admire him. He’s very fit to be president. But he will not win – at least not this time. But he brings a lot of graciousness and intelligence into the contest. And as I’ve said time and again, this is very good for our democracy. The CPP made a good decision in choosing him as their candidate. Many people say that he’s my “boy” and he’s only in the race to try to split the NDC vote. Well? What’s wrong with that? I welcome anything that helps the NDC lose. I expect Nduom to win more votes than the other candidate who stood for the CPP in the last election. (Sorry, I don’t even want to mention his name.) Nduom’s participation in this contest means a lot for the CPP. It surely marks the re-birth of a sleeping giant and I expect that the party will be able to build on whatever he achieves to put itself out there as a force to reckon with in Sikaman politics. Perhaps, in about four or eight years, we would have a President Nduom.
The candidate of the PNC, Ed Mahama, is also a smart guy. But he’s also a big-time loser. He’s lost more consecutive elections in this country than anyone else. That should go down in Sikaman’s ‘Palmwine Book of Records’. Yet, he keeps coming back. Who has been advising him anyway? The people of this country know that he’s a good man and all. But they’ve also said to him in more ways than one that they do not want him. I know he will lose again and his feat in the Palmwine Book of Records will be difficult if not impossible to surpass. The only person who might come close to beating Ed Mahama’s record, would be Tata Mills.
At the tail end of the year, my party went to congress to elect a candidate. Man, wasn’t it a great contest? Seventeen men (most of them with great illusions) took part and the whole nation was abuzz with discussions about who would win. In my last letter to you, told you that Nana Addo or Alan K would win. Needless to say, but I’m glad to say that my ‘prophecy’ came to pass and Nana beat my preferred candidate (Alan K) very well. It saddened my heart but such is democracy. The people have spoken.
So I’m really very happy for Nana. I think he would make a very fine president. A president even I will envy and admire. He’s got it all – a passion to succeed, a thinking head and a sweet tongue. All through his life, I think Nana has been grooming himself for the presidency and now he has a chance to take a shot. I will be very happy if he’s the one I hand over to. But it’s not going to be an easy contest. I know Tata Mills will be a very strong contender. But as Nana himself has said the elections are ours to lose.
I wish the whole nation an exciting political season. May this be a year of intelligent debates, devoid of malice and the sort of mudslinging that tears people apart. That is to say that some mudslinging can be tolerated. At the end of the day, may the best candidate win!
Excellently yours,
J. A. Fukuor
fukuor@gmail.com