Letter From The President: An obscene party

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents big things are happening in the world and as I always say, our dearly beloved Sikaman should not be left behind. Recently, the Sultan of Brunei celebrated his birthday with a huge party at which he reportedly feted one hundred thousand people. On a very regular basis I read about Hollywood stars throwing lavish parties in their plush mansions in exotic places like Monaco and Cape Canaveral. Even the ‘chiefs’ in Naija throw mega parties at which money is gleefully thrown down the drain.

So, as we prepare for our nation’s golden jubilee celebrations, I said to myself – “what the heck, why can’t we throw a lavish birthday party for our country?” Some say, “we can’t afford it.” Why not? If individuals throw mega parties why can’t our nation afford it? Much against my better judgment, I have decided that our nation’s 50th independence anniversary should be celebrated in a grand style – in a manner never seen before on the continent of Africa.