Letter from The President: Petrol Palaver

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents as I write this letter, the Israelis are very busy raining bombs on Lebanon. Iran is adamantly pursuing a nuclear programme and, well, the situation in Iraq is what the Bushman wants it to be – chaotic and bloody.
All these events worry me very deeply. Why? Because they affect the price of crude oil – a commodity we don’t have much of. Forget about the recent news that a chief claims to have information that some professors from KNUST discovered vast amounts of oil in Duayaw Nkwanta – it’s a big joke, I think. Even if there is oil in that area, I wouldn’t encourage anyone to spend any time and money digging up for it – unless there is concrete evidence that the deposits are not in the same quantities as what we discovered in the Saltpond basin – can’t even use it to run a ‘nikka-nikka’.