I am a Christian in my late twenties. At this prime age of my life, a chunk of the conversations I have with peers border on relationship/marriage. I know my contemporaries around the world do, too. Amusingly, one quality that runs through expectations especially with regards to a potential spouse is “God-fearing”.

Everyone wants to marry a supposedly God-fearing spouse. Well… who doesn’t fear God on this Earth? Even the devil does! So… how God-fearing is your God-fearing? You so badly want to marry a spiritual person? How spiritual is your spiritual? Are demons not spiritual, too?

Is your definition for God-fearing someone who sends you scriptural messages daily? Do you know that sending biblical messages doesn’t even make one a Christian (let alone God-fearing) just like sending updates on forex trade doesn’t make one a bank manager?

Many of us have fallen for some weird characters in church because all we saw was what we really wanted to see! If all you want to see is a tongue-blasting sister… that is all you will see. If seeing him lead prayer sessions already gets you horny, that’s all you will see! We fall for wolves in sheep clothing… get married to them… and after marriage, we come crying, “He/she has changed after the wedding!”

No, brother! She didn’t change. You just didn’t know her that much. No, sister! He didn’t change. You just fell for his ‘polish-on-dirt’. You fell for his trap of a disguise.

No one changes after a wedding. We just didn’t know them much. We were so blinded by their mirage that we took their reality for granted. We were so distracted by their spiritual gymnastics that we took no notice of their spiritual maturity.

God-fearing is… and has always been relative. Every living being has, at least, an iota of a fear of God in them. You can’t assume that they are God-fearing because they are “God-fearing”. It is too quick to perceive that because someone pays fat tithes and offertory, they automatically are your God-fearing kind.

Many of us have reasons for doing what we do wherever… even in church. Others may do what they do to attract attention. Others may still do what they do just to portray a guise of spirituality. Just like we all walk into a hospital, for instance, for different reasons, not everyone who goes through the gates of the church has Heaven in mind. For you to assume that we all do may only be a perception of deception.

Don’t be deceived. Don’t let his big Greek Bible cloud your thoughts. Don’t fall for her overwhelmingly big scarf and long skirts in church. Humanity always has a way of scheming to portray a shade of spirituality. Many have led others to the wrong altars under the cover of spirituality. Getting to know a potential spouse should be your conscious effort.

Interestingly, a bad spouse-to-be almost always gives us their ‘signs and symptoms’ but we may be too enchanted with their supposed “God-fearing” stance in church that we just gloss over who they really are.

Know no one after the flesh. Pray to God to reveal them to you. Get closer to know them. Know their priorities. Know their needs. Know their wants. Know what they can’t live without. Know what they spend a chunk of their time reading, watching or listening to. Know their thought patterns. That’s who they are. That’s their character!

Don’t fall for him because he somersaults during worship. He might only be trying out some acrobatics. Don’t fall in love with her because she lifts chairs in exuberance during sermons. She might only be exercising!

Don’t fall for her because she has some glittering crucifix tucked somewhere in her cleavage. It might only be fashion. Don’t be too quick to marry them because they have a ‘praying towel’ dangling around their necks. Marriage goes beyond crucifixes and towels!

Mind you, even when God was having a conference with His angels, the devil showed up to talk about Job. Church is no exception. Many characters walk in and out under the cover of a cross with all manner of agenda. Not everyone comes to church to pray or listen to God’s word! Not everyone.

Sitting in church doesn’t make one a Christian any more than sitting in a garage makes them a car. Think about it. Finding a potential spouse in church doesn’t necessarily mean they will make a good husband or wife. There’s a thin line between “God-fearing” and God-fearing. Which one do you actually want? The church is indeed a hospital for treating the sick… not a court room for judgement. The sick walk in to be healed… not to be slaughtered on an altar of judgement. However, in the process of their healing, don’t fall for their schemes lest you be infected, too. Remember they are still under treatment.

You want to marry a God-fearing spouse? In every character on Earth is a shade of some fear of a deity in Heaven. So… how God-fearing is your God-fearing? Great weekend.