Yessing And Cheering, A Serenade To Knighthood In Kufuor's Government

To start with, sports enthusiasts are united on the axiom, the best runners are preserved for the anchor leg of any relay event. In boxing, the last round is saved for lessons in craftsmanship, showmanship and endurance. The principle holds in all endeavours but it is sadly not so for Kufour's government. The ultimate question to him: Is he making it or faking it? The better description for this latest reshuffle is "fast and funny".

Indeed, through a montage of Hanzard extracts, memory flashbacks and the pretence of academic qualifications which some of them bandy about, the Ministers, Deputy Ministers and District Chief Executives provide our nation with a new sense of the absurd and the comic. With surprising apocalyptic bravado, Kufuor inspects the guard of dishonour mounted by the gaping sycophantic yesmen and cheerleaders, swims through relationship-infested waters and mounts the springboard where he started from, poking his tongue and clenching a big fist as if to sing the popular tune of yesteryear: wobegyaa me o, JAK, m'abedu, m'abedu, sambra o! to wit, "you only led me to where I am destined to be, catch me if you can". All that is to show what despair is like when it refuses to take itself seriously.

PROMOTION OF MEDIOCRITY

Now consider the haven of the very Honourable Hackman Owusu-Agyemang which was to be inherited by the erudite and much heralded Nana Addo Dankwa Akufo-Addo, both of whom had been preceded by the diplomats diplomat, Philip Gbeho. Descend into the pit with me to shake hands with Akwasi Osei-Bobie who now wishes to be known as and called Osei Adjei of "and so therefore" infamy. This fifty-something-year old somebody simply cannot be the royal horse guard of our diplomacy, not least when our President is the current Chairman of the African Union (AU) and may need to let this person who cannot let his mouth to effectively mirror what is in his own head represent the head of His Excellency and for that matter all other twenty million heads in our noble nation. We need to go back and study his performance at the Ordinary level and thence at Institute of Professional (IPS). What background check did the Appointments Committee conduct on the post-graduate certificate which he claims he has. A PhD holder deputises a person whose Ordinary level is messy in a party of elites, except admittedly, this is not the first time. A certain Professor Addy in NDC also deputised ET Mensah whose 'O' level was bad meat even for vultures.

Enter Esther Obeng Dapaah whose Curriculum Vitae suggests she is a Lincolns Inn trained lawyer but ask her colleagues in Parliament if they discovered any legal training in her blood. Perhaps, she was vigilantly protecting that as a secret weapon to be unleashed later.Good luck to a lady who returned from the United Kingdom in the election year of 2004 to inquire about who Dan Botwe was in our party in May of that year. She was not even an inactive member of the United Kingdom, let alone a dues-paying one. Eh!!! Kofi Diawuo's Ghana. Lick your wounds all ye party soldiers, the battle is ended and the refrain, by no means a popular one though, at the pontifical high mass is "nye nea w'abre na odie", it is not he who labours who profits from the endeavours. Some are born to be hewers of wood and drawers of water. Did it not occur to Kufuor that Hon Adjei-Yeboah, the Deputy Minister at Forestry is senior to Ms Obeng-Dapaah in parliament; that before he entered parliament he was in the timber industry and had been the Chairman of the Parliamentary Committee on Lands and Forestry?

So what is the pedigree of Ms Obeng-Dapaah who confesses to being overwhelmed with her appointment? Does the President consult the leadership of our Parliamentary party in these matters? If he does, then Hon Felix Owusu-Agyepong, Osei Aidoo and Mensa-Kyei Bonsu must have their mental faculties examined for foisting such obtuse "advice" on our dear President. But if the President was purposed to appoint her or an Easterner to that position, then why not barrel-bellied Ofosu-Asamoah to pair with the genteel Adjei-Yeboah whilst sending Ms Obeng-Dapaah, if the President finds merit in her, to the Eastern Region as a Deputy or whatever. Woman out, woman in. And that would have been a better arrangement.

KYEREMATEN'S BRIGADE

Welcome to the Alan Kyerematen's brigade: Opare Ansah for Communications. A fine young man but certainly not an average performer in Parliament and his warehouse is quite empty, too. Why skip over the Ofoase-Ayirebi MP who is more articulate, much more intelligent, much more knowlegeable. What effect does such appointments have on Parliamentary enterprise? Work hard and be recognised or recognise the movers and shakers and you will be given a share of Kofi Diawuo's kingdom?

Still in the Eastern Region, why would anybody side-step Okerchiri Adusa? Not only is he a pioneer MP within the ranks of the NPP, he has come of age and fully paid his dues. Raise up your hands and be counted Joe Baidoe-Ansah. Comrade Kwesi Pratt, your own bosom friend, who is not a man of equivocation, at least on matters concerning the NPP, was right in his observation that your priorities have always been with your outward appearance, not including your verbal or intellectual appearance which you blanket with your rather loud laughs when the spirit is on you. Joe, your dancing steps are certainly better than your intellectual acumen. And may I add that you are very choosy in the shoes your wear which give you the bounce in your heels, I guess your dear Kate Dado will agree with me, except you cannot at this level continue to wipe your shoes with your handkerchief. No more!!!!!!!! But Joe profits from two angles: a dancer to the tunes of the Kyerematen's ensemble and blood links to the father of President Kufour's wife, Madam Theresa.

Most people in Kumasi believe that Maxwell "Kofi Ghana" Jumah created a mess at Kumasi Metropolitan Assembly (KMA) which explains why on one very different occasion the President personally had to redeem him. What quality is he bringing to bear on this administration: belicosity, shout-battling and the capacity to resurrect "Friends of John Agyekum Kufuor" a.k.a FOJAK in the United States of America for the benefit of boy Alan Cash.

The register of the empty, dry shells some of whom admittedly were not in the drawing attention to their descriptions of also-runs and status of eternal back bench residents include the would-have-been Miss Ghana - Shirley Ayokor Botchwey, the smooth impressionist Kofi Poku-Adusei, Mr Tsibo Obodai who has ultimately subdued King ong and replaced him in the Central Region. Forget them not: the loquacious Cinderella - Mrs Asangalisa Chigabatia, full of energy and always in full-flight wanting to attract the eyes of some press man but clearly not long on sense and intellectual ability;and who else other than the times laughable Theresah Tagoe who somebody had the 'temerity' to describe as a Bob Okalla in Parliament. Was it Moses Asaga who mustered the courage? In line with Parliamentary practice, he withdrew those words but the point had already been made about the calibre of many of Kufuor's men and women in Parliament.

Not to be outdone in the highly rewarding enterprise of obseqious yessing is the recycled Hon Kwadwo Adjei-Darko, who upon being dropped from the government withdrew into his shells and only returned to Parliament after intense persuasion. Adjei-Darko, the former Brong-Ahafo Regional Chairman of NPP is by no means an empty barrel except he is too full of himself most times. You cannot fault this one-eyed in this vast kingdom of the blind. Don't forget he was formidable in delivering Brong-Ahafo to Candidate Kufuor in 1998 and he will come in for Kufuor's beloved son in whom he is well pleased. Anybody in doubt should ask the venerable and seminal J.H. Mensah who inspite of himself had only three (only 3) votes from his own region, thanks to Adjei-Darko. Hmm !!!!!!! wo sene wo nyonko, wotan wo. Asem beba dabi !!!!!!!!

THE LONG VINDICTIVE ARM OF KOFI DIAWUO

Yaw Barimah is a good material by every measure except he has the tendency of disobeying "his masters' voice". He must be externally grateful to Asamoah-Boateng who guarded his fall. He would have broken his skull, but Yaw should remain faithful. Recycling is becoming John Agyekum Kofi Diawuo Kufuor's convention.

It is hard to understand Kufuor has chosen to restrict himself to the narrow path that Parliament offers except to dominate both arms of government and ultimately get the MPs to trumpet the tune for his blue-eyed boy Kyeremateng. The second reason is simply that having failed to garner the support of his peers in the Progress Party and the Popular Front Party except Thomas "wife snatcher" Broni and Kwadwo "Ugly Head" Mpiani in the run-up to the April fool Congress which brought the verdict for him at Legon Congress of 1996 against the then people's choice Professor Albert Adu-Boahene, Kofi Diawuo decided at the very outset to teach his peers a lesson by ignoring them.

CONCLUSION

It is time that compared with the NDC, the NPP has fared better in the past six and one-half years, but the remarks column betrays the palpable truth: "could have done far better given their capabilities and resources available". Out there in the field are the gallant men and women who could have redeemed our party: the Sam Okudjetos, Prof Agyemangs (Legon), Prof Owusu-Addos, Dr Kwame Donkor-Fordwours, Dr Baffour Asafo-Agyeis (CIDA), Africanus Owusu-Ansahs, Prof asenso-Okyeres, I.K. Gyasis, Kwaku Duahs, Akomea Kyerematens (former Afigya Sekyere East MP) who was very instrumental in moulding the National Health Insurance Scheme (NHIS) from his sick bed at the KNUST Hospital. That is the reward of the gallant men who stood steadfastly with and for our party in the blood and thunder and hunger days. Ei !!!!!!!!! Kufuor, you are too unforgiven and vindictive.

Stand up for Boakye-Agyarko and Dr Arthur Kennedy. My candid opinion is that if these guys had bee given due recognition by vindictive Kofi Diawuo at the outset for all the commitment without inducement which they have shown to the cause of our party, they might not have thrown in their hats now. The R.I. Alhassans, Kwesi Brews .........he tragically passed on only yesterday as a pauper. May I mention Messrs Matthew Kyeremeh, Kofi Boadu Oppong, Eric Agyemang, Hayford Atta-Krufi, Noble Kwasi Adjei-Boakye, Eugene Antwi of the UK and Ireland branch of the NPP, they keep our party in Britain afloat with sheer hard work.

Notwithstanding, if the President still decides to restrict himself to the narrow confines of Parliament and was exercising his powers of resurrection which were performed on Adjei-Darko and Nana Akomeah - why ignore Christine Churcher? Christine is the best endowed of our women in Parliament. It is only Cecilia Dapaah who comes a close second. Gifty Ohene Konadu has clearly not lived up to her talent and potential. The others? Forget about them in any serious ministerial appointment except perhaps Angelina Baiden-Amissah and Anna Nyemekye who have improved somewhat after their appointments. Accident-prone Kufuor has a tendency of persistently lowering the bar with every reshuffle. Still in parliament, one of our very best in Hon Osei Mensa-Kyei Bonsu MP Suame and now Deputy Majority Leader. Talk with all the MPs both NPP and NDC, consult the CPP and PNC in Parliament, only Kufuor can tell us why he has kept the intelligent, hardworking Suame legislator out of his Cabinet. I advise the Suame MP to save his image and intellect for a better tomorrow. Having worked and followed him closely for the last five years, the Suame legislator will walk straight into any Cabinet of any serious NPP government except those who have vindictiveness as a creed. Hon Mrs Gifty Kusi must wipe her tears as she and many other capable NPP figures will have the last laugh, though not under Kyerematen's government with Kofi Diawuo as the shadowy Chief of Staff.

Yaw Mensah a.k.a. KWABRE QANAWU, London



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