Opinions of Tuesday, 19 July 2016

Columnist: Solomon Opala

Why modern women will continue to be single

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In the history of the earth and as long as people have been around, this is the age with the highest number of single women and children born and raised without both biological parents. It is not by accident; we have been diving into it slowly and will continue to do so unless something drastic changes. Some of the reasons for this trend are:

1. Women think they can do better When the ladies are younger and hot, they have more choices of suitors than men. They think that the world revolves around them. This turns out to be a curse more than a blessing because they end up regretting that they left a nice guy. I have had innumerable female friends tell me the same story.

That they had this guy in campus or first job but they just left him after a small disagreement or without any reason. They bump into the guy in the mall and find out that he settled with a less glamorous and demanding girl. They discover that there are many other ladies and each year more beautiful and younger ones come to the scene.

2. Women take long preparing for career The focus for women is to be self-reliant and empowered, and child brides are fast becoming taboo. Actually, one can be arrested for marrying a 17-year-old girl.

When a lady postpones marriage, two things happen. First, she is involved in several non-committal relationships and research shows that this makes her prone to baggage and unstable relationships later or even divorce in future if she ever gets married. Second, her sexual market value (SMV) deteriorates after 25 and she becomes less desirable as a mate to the available men. The rest who are her age or older are already married.

3. Women are more demanding The majority of the single women are from the middle class and educated group. More women than men are getting good education and jobs. In Western Europe and North America, 60% of women are college educated compared to 40% men.

Since women are hypergamous, that is they rather die single than marry someone less educated or successful than self, they are pricing themselves out of the sexual pool. The more successful they get, the fewer options they have for marriage.

The more they are educated and financially empowered the woman is, the less they need a man and the less they will respect them if they are in a marriage. This will lead to a breakup and she joins the singles pool.

4. They are not wife material The bitter truth is that education and modern culture is poisoned chalice to happy unions. It promises freedom and rights on one hand and also breeds self-entitlement, combative, narcissistic women, who have been readied for the marketplace but never prepared for marriage.

It emphasizes on similarities between the sexes and not the unique differences that spice up the marriage with the masculine and feminine energies.

Men as well as women are confused as to what their role is in marriage and this leads to strive. Many men are choosing to remain single because marriage has lost its luster. They are not respected and honoured by their women. The wives are not only more demanding but governments across the world also give them so much power and incentives to end the marriage.