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Opinions of Thursday, 16 June 2016

Columnist: Chukwuneta Obiageli

Why men are their own worst enemies

It amuses me when women are accused of being each other’s worst enemies, leaving the men folk with a ‘saintly’ gloat of sorts. But if the things I am going to point out (below) are not the worst kind of ‘enmity’ that anybody can show to one of their kind, then I will need to embark on a study of sorts to actually determine what constitutes ‘enmity’ from one to another…especially to one’s own kind!

Why is it a man that will most likely rub his fellow man’s ‘hard times’ in his face? Why does it take another man’s efforts (of sorts) for his fellow man’s woman to suddenly realize that her man is ‘not trying’ (economically or sexually-especially) at all?

Why is it that a man is most likely going to be driven to work ‘very’ hard-not really to live a life of comfort, but for another man not to have easy access to his woman? I mean, some men are very good at showing ‘charity’ to other men’s women…especially when the husbands /men of such women are going through rough patches.

A good friend was affected when the banking sector embarked on a massive (job) cut-sometime back. Determined not to stay at home (to wallow in self pity), she started going to her husband’s shop with him every morning. Her husband owns an auto (spare) parts shop and it took her job loss for her to even have an idea of what his business line entails. She told me that she actually began to enjoy the experience, though the business remained a largely new terrain for her.

One morning, a man came to pick a few(spare) parts for his car ,which he claimed was undergoing repairs (at the mechanic) and while waiting for his receipt, he asked someone to go get him a ‘recharge card’. My friend told him that she also sells recharge cards…he gave her a strange look before asking her to scratch him a few cards.

A few days later, she was alone in the shop, when the same man came around, bought a large amount of recharge cards, made to leave but suddenly turned to face her, cleared his throat and said to her ‘’you mean you wear trouser suit every morning to come and sell recharge cards in your husband’s motor parts shop, ehn? Honestly, this environment does not suit you at all and your husband is a fool-to have let you come out here to be suffering with him.’’

My friend told me that she was almost tempted to start feeling ‘sorry’ for herself immediately he said those things to her but she brushed it off and actually rewarded him with one of her disarming smiles.

She also confessed that the major temptation she’s faced all through their ‘economic challenges’ came from ‘other men’-who never spared an opportunity to let her know that she is better off having an affair with them…despite their knowing that she is a married woman and a mother!

Well, with such attitude (from some men) towards other men’s women- would it be out of place if one concludes that-men are also their own worst enemies? Otherwise, why would a man’s ‘down fall/hard times’ breed a desire to have his woman ‘touched’ (at all cost) in his fellow men?

I mean, we all know that the worst thing you can do to a man (even when he is down )is to go near his woman, yet a lot of men do this to their fellow men and brazenly too.

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