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Opinions of Thursday, 27 September 2018

Columnist: Barbara Inkoom

When you can't keep it

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….Skip the VOW if you can’t keep it

As they walk down the aisle, hand in hand, ready to die for each other, and eager to say 'I DO'; each has spent endless days and nights dreaming…of perfect love, a bed of red roses and kisses.

Now the day is finally here to say I Do.

In a distance they could hear their names being mentioned and the words they yearn to speak to each other follows... They Promise each other love till death does them part... unconditional Love, in sickness and in health, for richer and for poorer till death does them part.... a VOW to God in whose presence they stand. (Many just repeat these words because the Pastor said so, oblivious of the fact that they have made an eternal vow to bind their souls and bodies)

The ceremony is over, the couple is home.

It's been 3 months already and the 'little foxes are beginning to spoil the vine’.

Why did Kwesi believe that by marrying Aba, he was guaranteed an obedient wife, a life of bliss, children, wealth, and a sound sleep...? Oh and why did Aba also dream that by marrying Kwesi, the love of her life, she was guaranteed a respectful, humble and faithful husband, LOVE, wealth, children and a happy family life?

Most pre-marriage counselors do a poor job of painting an assured life of utmost bliss to the couple and not letting them know the real hurdles they need to jump over till death does them part.

Truth is even on roses there are thorns The consciousness of the vow they make in front of God and a host of witnesses is lost on them… the vow that only death can separate them.

A vow (IN THE BIBLE) is the solemn promise to God deliberately and freely to perform some good works.....of course marriage is a good thing instituted and blessed by God himself.

What does it mean to make a vow? ...Do you know?

Deuteronomy 23:21-23

“If you make a vow to the Lord your God, you shall not delay fulfilling it, for the Lord your God will surely require it of you, and you will be guilty of sin. But if you refrain from vowing, you will not be guilty of sin. You shall be careful to do what has passed your lips, for you have voluntarily vowed to the Lord your God what you have promised with your mouth”.

Mark 10:2-12

2 Some Pharisees came and tested him (Jesus) by asking, “Is it lawful for a man to divorce his wife?” 3“What did Moses command you?” he replied. 4 They said, “Moses permitted a man to write a certificate of divorce and send her away.” 5 “It was because your hearts were hard that Moses wrote you this law,” Jesus replied. 6 “But at the beginning of creation God ‘made them male and female.’ 7‘For this reason a man will leave his father and mother and be united to his wife, 8 and the two will become one flesh.’So they are no longer two, but one flesh. 9Therefore what God has joined together, let no one separate.” 10When they were in the house again, the disciples asked Jesus about this. 11 He answered, “Anyone who divorces his wife and marries another woman commits adultery against her. 12 And if she divorces her husband and marries another man, she commits adultery.”

By this I can conclude that ...Marriage is a journey of no return. The only point of separation is death.

Meaning today, when your partner commits adultery, is infertile, rude, lazy, mean, unemployed etc. you cannot not divorce him or her. The two are one... inseparable!!

Now you have made a vow to love till death do you part in all circumstances…. a spiritual exercise.... But when you decide to divorce, you are mindful of the physical things only: the fact that you need to cancel at court or return the drinks to the family that is all one thinks about; but what about the vow you made... What about God; for the Lord your God will surely require it of you, and you will be guilty of sin. (Deuteronomy 23:21-23)

So why make a vow when you are not sure you can keep it?

Maybe it’s time for us to relook at marriage; and the words in marriage vows. Maybe we should not be in a hurry to let the church bells ring, so we can say ‘I do’