Opinions of Friday, 28 February 2025

Columnist: Anthony Obeng Afrane

When ministerial vetting needs more 'Akpi' dance and axes

Some members of the vetting committee Some members of the vetting committee

The hallowed halls of Parliament practically vibrated with the righteous indignation of the Minority Leader. Apparently, demanding a potential Deputy Minister of Attorney General to demonstrate the "Akpi" – a dance requiring the grace and poise of artistic dancing. . .with an axe – was deemed "inappropriate" by the Chairman of the Appointments Committee.

Inappropriate? I say inspired! Surely, the Chairman missed a golden opportunity. Instead of halting proceedings and uttering the dreaded words, "Ranking Member, you're out of order," he should have facilitated a truly memorable moment of parliamentary theatre.

Imagine the scene: the nominee, initially hesitant, then bravely embracing his cultural heritage. A well sharpened axe, gleaming under the fluorescent lights, is presented. The drums begin, a primal rhythm echoing through the hall. The nominee begins to sway, a mesmerising display of cultural expression, ending with a graceful, yet pointing the grinded axe. . . directly towards the increasingly uncomfortable pesky Ranking Member.

Suddenly, unnecessary lines of questioning would cease. The air would thicken, not with political tension, but with a potent mix of awe and thinly veiled terror. Think of the efficiency! No more drawn-out interrogations, no more filibustering. A simple "Akpi" performance would be the ultimate litmus test, weeding out the truly committed from a mere mischievous committee member.

And frankly speaking, it would have been more entertaining than reading budget proposals. Let's inject some much-needed cultural flair into the seemingly sterile world of parliamentary proceedings.

Kikikikiki, after all, what better way to assess a nominee's judgment than by watching him skillfully wield a potentially lethal weapon?