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Opinions of Sunday, 10 August 2014

Columnist: Adofo, Rockson

To the Ghanaian Male and Scholar, the Hardest Thing to Say, is sorry

It is a proven fact that most Ghanaian husbands find it too herculean a task to say sorry to their spouse when they offend them. They probably think, saying sorry, that indeed will not put food on the table, will reduce their height; make them one inch shorter than what they actually are. What a wrong presumption! I had better bow down my head in shame, equally as guilty as many others, when SORRY in the sense as being discussed, crops up.

Is it not a noble thing to do, to say sorry to the offended party, when you become aware of having caused the offence? Whether the offence was caused intentionally or inadvertently, once you realise your guilt, please say sorry, render an unreserved apology. By this, harmonious peace will reign supreme within your marriage and in your household.

The heartfelt utterance of SORRY, followed by a sincerely rendered APOLOGY, to the offended party, in this case, the wife, will help re-establish any broken-down communication between couple which occurs naturally, when either party wilfully offends the other. Without effective communication among couples, their marriages can never be as successful as many would be proud of.

Similarly, most of the supposedly highly-educated Ghanaians exhibit a high degree of disrespect for, and difficulty of, uttering the five-lettered word, SORRY. They feel it will not only tarnish their ego, but also, bring them down to the same level as those they consider inferior and are consequently treating contemptuously. When these academics offend you, however it comes about, as long as you are not academically their co-equal, to hell with you. Who are you to be rendered an apology to, preceded by sorry, when they have knowingly erred, somehow trampled on your rights? You can join Satan in hell, for that they care.

Regardless of your social status, you should be a man, to swallow your pride, to say sorry, when you have offended another person. Once it is conveyed to your attention, for knowingly or otherwise, offending the other, in whatever shape, form or circumstance that it occurred, simply acknowledge the guilt and say sorry. Pure and simple! There should not be any ifs or buts.

Apologies rendered in such situations should be from the bottom of your heart, sincere ones of course, but not superficial. Let us shun our machismo and vainglory when it comes to apologising to our partners and all those that we erroneously, or otherwise, offend. For at the end of the day, a six-foot coffin awaits us all. Or better still, our pomposity, highly touted academic knowledge or intelligence, riches and whatnots, come to an end in death. And in death, all human beings are equal – lifeless body to be disposed of, because it does no longer serve any useful purpose for the living.

I dedicate this article to one Mr Pianim, a former Senior School Prefect at Tweneboa Koduah Secondary School, for several years now a Londoner. He values anyone he interacts with, accords them the needed respect, disregarding how far below the social ladder one is. He only sees human beings without distinctions, as long as the person behaves responsibly. The race, tribe and one’s riches or academic credentials do not in anyway influence his degree of respect for the person, but simply for the fact of one being a person, you have his unqualified respect and attention.