By Kwame Okoampa-Ahoofe, Jr.

Uncle,
you must be
relishing
your new-found
global celebrity status
beyond silly…
I even hear
Missus Hilary Clinton,
my crush and
childhood dream girl,
will be there
to see
the show
Mr. Totobi’s
Funeral Committee
is putting up
for you –
yes,
he is the same
stinking cow’s hide
who used to play
Charles Kaylay
and gutter-to-gutter
and pick the pockets
of Leaf-Folks
just arrived
in town
with Salifu Amankwaa
at the Holy Gardens
of Nkrumah Circle…
you remember
when they were caught,
Totobi and his lookout
claimed to be collecting
charitable contributions
for the Chadian
asylum seekers
they were humping
and bonking
and ramming
and stoking
all over the place -
though my hunch
and experience
of Ghana and Lesotho
tell me
there wouldn’t be much
by way of
fireworks
to write home about;
so,
really,
I am not
holding my breath –
Uncle Tee,
you may not
believe this,
but some are even calling
for the erection
of a monument
in celebration of
your gross
incompetence,
one begins to wonder
what else
they might have requested
had you completed
the public library
you never began
or thought of building
at Ekumfi-Otuam –
don’t say this
too loudly,
Uncle,
but our people
are so stupid
it makes you wonder
if Mr. Stupid
was not born
and raised
among us…

8/3/12