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Opinions of Monday, 18 June 2018

Columnist: Osei Kwame

The woman behind; how men must view monogamous relationships

Before you even begin reading this — if you’ve made it past the heading, note that this is the writer’s view on men’s relationship with women; in this case, an exclusive relationship, a partnership or marriage.

There are many schools of thought on what the relationship between a man and a woman should be. It’s 2018, and I don’t know how the following notion; “behind every successful man, is a woman”, comes up in any conversation regarding fruitful relationships. Whenever I hear that statement, a few questions pop to mind; why behind? What’s she doing there? Why not beside or even in front?

I think of that statement in its literal sense. I imagine running a marathon, or taking on a challenge and, instead of having my woman by me, she’s behind me cheering me on, she’s behind. I can’t see her. I can only hear her. That for me is a no-no! It wouldn’t be long till I click my heels and fall face flat or look back and probably hit my toe on a rock because her voice got quieter and, being the compulsive worrier, I turn to see if she is okay. Nah!

When I think of starting a relationship, I think of forming a long-lasting, mutually beneficial partnership. A partnership oo! That in itself implies 50/50 –although I choose to think in this case 100/100 because if you’re not all in, why are you here in the first place?

This also means that one isn’t leading while the other follows. There’s no head of the home. It takes two heads, two hearts, two bodies on one long journey. We’re equal partners. We’re in this sh** together. And man, if you’ve ever had to deal with group assignments, you would know that you do not want to be the only one handling everything. A smarter partner increases your chances of acing the test.

So why should any man in his right mind feel that they need a “dumber” partner? This is what you want for the rest of your life? To carry EVERYTHING on your shoulder and end up being bitter and unpleasant to your family?

Even if we choose to look at this via “Dark Age” lenses, I think it makes more sense to have your light bearer walk by your side; to show you the way. You clear the path while the torch shines bright in front of you. You protect your light bearer as you bear the arms since you’re so keen on assigning roles.

The thing is, she may be a better swordsman while you are a better light maker and bearer. The earlier you start seeing the partnership as equal and mutually beneficial, the better for your long journey ahead is all I’m saying.

Choose wisely.