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Opinions of Friday, 13 January 2012

Columnist: Baffour, Francis

The Massacra in Accra

In the 70’s there was an epic bout in the Philippines between “The Greatest” Muhammad Ali and the late Joe Frazier “Smokin’ Joe” appropriately dubbed “The Thrilla in Manila”.

But the one I like is “The Massacra in Accra” between Nana and Mills.

The procession:
Nana enters the ring in gold trunks signifying the resources of the country with an entourage of “Adowa” dancers behind him and is introduced as “The Unifier”
A few minutes later we hear the sound of “borborbor” music with Mills wearing red trunks signifying blood and is introduced as “The Great Ewe Hope”

Then hostilities begin.

Each boxer sizes the other up. Mills takes Nana’s punches to the face and retaliates with punches to Nana’s arms and body. Nana puts pressure on Mills stinging him with jabs and combinations to the head. Mills fights back with powerful punches. Mills lands a jab on Nana’s chin but it packs no punch. There is too much caution and the round is very dull.

Scorecard: even

Nana comes in strong charging on Mills and doing “The Shuffle”. Then he adopts the “rope-a-dope” technique taunting Mills to the rope and drills him in the jaw with a vicious hook. Somebody have mercy !
He jabs Mills at will and asks “What have you done for Fantes?” Mills replies: The Ewes won’t let me.
They call the shots. My hands are tied”. Nana is floating like a butterfly and stinging like a bee.
Nana lands a flurry of punches on Mills face to finish the round.

Scorecard: Nana’s round. It was a page lifted from the Ali playbook.

Mills rushes to Nana’s corner and starts punching, firing on all cylinders. He manages to land a body shot staggering Nana who momentarily loses his balance but is in no serious trouble. Mills assault continues and there is loud “agbadza” music heard in the stands. Nana starts holding , gasping for breath. As they are separated Mills throws a wild sucker-punch and gets penalized. Mills unleashes flurries of combinations on Nana to end the round.

Scorecard: The Volta round goes to Mills. He is not vanilla after all.

Nana starts the round with fast punches to Mills face and moves his feet a lot. Mills is tired and fights at low pace, showing clear signs of fatigue. He has nothing left in the tank after the previous round. Nana hits him in the mouth and asks “What about the missing 4.5 million barrels of oil?” Mills replies “ I am not supposed to talk about it. There is a gag order on it.” And you had a cut in the GHC92million payout to Woyome? Mills: I don’t know. Mills corner yells: Yi le, Yi le ! In one of the rare instances that he showed backbone, Mills shouts back: You come up here and beat him, buffoon. Nana lands a shot on Mills head and his legs buckle but he is saved by the bell.

Scorecard: Nana

A ritual is performed on Mills by a fetish priest who sprinkles black powder on him and gives him a concoction to drink and someone yells from the stands “Papa Doc Mills”. Thankfully there is no “Baby Doc” in Ghana. There will never be one. He sent $3million to Haiti, the only African country to send aid. Voodoo music and the smell of “agbaa” fill the air.
Sensing the end is near for Mills, Nana charges hard on him in a scene reminiscent of Mike Tyson when he was Mike Tyson. An uppercut sends Mills to the floor. He manages to get up and a vicious hook sends his mouth piece flying out of the ring and landing on the fat belly of his spokesman. Oh la la ! He is hit again and is prostrating on all four, drawing blood. He is looking at his corner to throw in the towel but there is no one in sight. He is no Nyebro. They deserted him, throwing him under the bus. Gone are the “borborbor” dancers, his handlers, the Nana hecklers and that beautiful Ewe lady I never had.
Finally, the UN steps in to save him from further punishment and declares the fight over. Mills goes out on his last hurrah, lying on a stretcher with severe concussion and bleeding profusely. He preaches blood and he got it. Walloped.

Scorecard: Nana is declared winner by TKO.

The other five regions, oops rounds don’t matter much. He’s got a million not 30,000 votes.

Nana is doing a victory lap in the ring, then busts a move to MC Hammers hit “2 Legit 2 Quit”
Nana is too legitimate to quit the race.
Move over Mills , there is a new King in town. In case you don’t know, his name is Nana.

The Thrilla in Manila
Ali, after escaping death in the ring from blows powerful enough to bring down the walls of a house and winning only because Frazier’s manager threw in the towel first, had this exchange.

Ali: Joe, they told me you was all washed up.
Frazier: They told you wrong, pretty boy.

The Massacra in Accra
After suffering a lopsided defeat and just before his concession speech.

Mills: The Ewes told me I will rule for eight years with full military support.
Nana: They told you wrong, Do Li’l. It’s four.
As for military don’t even try or you will be gadhafied. Besides, there will be large scale defection to form a new army recognized by the international community with backing from a neighboring country. For the uninitiated, it is not Togo. Your coward army refused to go to Ivory Coast to fight soldiers but chooses to stay home and butcher innocent civilians. There is one European power that will lead efforts to punish over that debacle. There will be repercussions. It’s payback time from the P/NDC era all the way to Woyome and the Ewe army in Ghana will be disbanded.

Francis Baffour (Nom de plume)

The phrase “The Massacra in Accra” is expressly coined and is proprietary protected with rights to book and movie deals.
It’s the original title to an article “The Massacra In Accra: A chronicle of atrocities committed by Mills of Ghana and his Ewe Gestapo forces before and during Election 2012.” Violent crackdown on peaceful demonstration against the ongoing massive corruption a la Woyome will also be documented in that article.
Mills may not have pulled the trigger but at the end of the day he ordered the hit. He opened the ammunitions depot for his Ewe troops to go on a killing rampage. He is culpable. His foot-in-the-mouth spokesman made an outburst about impending massacre in the country of the opposition and it went viral on the internet. The UN, ICC, Wikileaks etc heard it loud and clear. What is going to be Mills’ excuse this time? His flip-flops and lies have come a full circle.

That article is available to foreign media and international bodies only. Readers on Ghanaweb may have to wait until well after the elections. However it is likely to be leaked to the editor of The New Crusading Guide, Kweku Baako or to Justice Sarpong of Houston , Texas.