Have you ever thought of catching a married woman having an affair? What are some of the possible telltale signs to look for in such an infidel? The signs are numerous but I will list out a few important ones. Being guided by the sayings of the three wise monkeys, I shall advise all readers just to read them but not to act upon them. Do you expect me to tell you how to react when your partner is proven an infidel? I shall not, for an adage goes, "One man's meat is another man's poison". You may want it that way though others won't. What do the wise monkeys say then? One covers its eyes and says, "See no evil". The second one covers its ears and says, "Hear no evil". The third one covers its mouth, an indication of saying, "Speak no evil". I will not speak evil but rather tell the truth in case our otherwise unfaithful Ghanaian ladies will learn a lesson or two to effect changes for the better in them.

Before I proceed any further, I shall love to present Ghanaians with a nice correctional Christmas catch phrase. Whenever a married woman is known to be having an affair, please allude to her act of unfaithfulness by saying, "Wo re top-up" meaning "You are topping-up". To explain this further, it means she is adding extra sperms from another man to boost up her sexual healing or sexual gratification. Whenever the credit on ones pay-as-you-go mobile phone is running out, it is topped-up to keep it in service; to receive and to send phone calls. Much the same way, a woman who goes behind the back of her husband to sleep with other men can equally be deemed as charging her libido, but in this case unnecessarily. Do you know of any woman married who is topping-up her sexual credit by seeking extra spermatozoa from other men? If you do, please extend my seasonal greetings catchphrase to her - "Wo re top-up"

Principal among the signs of a married woman having an affair are:

*She suddenly buys herself new underwear of a different brand or colour other than what she normally wears. It is usually a requirement by her new love. She does that to become sexier and more appealing to her hidden man. She has a sudden preoccupation with her appearance. She wants to look more gorgeous.

*She gets irritable; picking fights in order to stomp out of the house. This shameful attitude is to the cheating wife an exeat to quickly run into the bosom of her hidden partner for sexual top-up.

*She completely stops having sex with you. This is always the attitude of those who have been manipulated to walk away from their marriage into the new lover's bosom for good. She is often compelled by the new man to swear an oath of allegiance to him that she, the woman, will never again sleep with their legally married husband. She begins to wear knickers when going to bed. She continually tells you I am not in the mood for sex having been worn out by the difficult job I do at work. Yes, that extra libidinal top-up she is receiving from the other man is difficult and it makes her exhausted indeed.

*She buys a cell phone and doesn't want you to know. She communicates with her new man on this hidden mobile phone. How shameful and disgusting you are, oh a cheating woman?

*She begins to delete all incoming phones from the caller ID. She doesn't want the husband to find out about her new lover's phone calls to her.

*You get calls where the caller hangs up when he hears your voice. The hidden lovers would always want to phone when the real husband is not around.

*She uses a low voice or whisper on the phone or hangs up quickly when you are around. When your wife does that, I am 100% certain she is having an affair. Make an attempt to check the incoming number and the hell will break loose. She will pick a fight with you. When it does happen, although I am not speaking evil, your wife is sleeping with another man!

*If your intuition (gut feeling) tells you that something is not right, actually something is not right. Keep looking and you will find out why. But beware of prying open unnecessarily the eyes of the dead, as you are likely to encounter a ghost. "Seek and ye shall find" but don't regret if she walks away after catching her out. If you can't bear the pain of your wife walking away to the other man as they normally do when caught, never then bother to check her infidelity at all.

*She goes to the store down the road for groceries only to come back in four hours later. She has in effect gone to top-up her mobile phone firmly situated in-between her bloody legs. What a shameful infidel you are, woman?

*Your spouse seems less comfortable around you and is touchy and easily moved to anger. She defends other women who are cheating and finds flimsy excuses not to wear her wedding ring.

*Finally, if your wife stops confiding in you and seeking advice from you or suddenly wants to try new love techniques with you or supposedly works a lot of overtime but it never shows up on the pay stub, she may likely be having an affair.

Take it or reject it, the facts are well established. Like me or hate me, I have revealed how unfaithful some Ghanaian women are, especially, those doing night cleaning jobs abroad. It is my prayer that those women committing acts of infidelity behind the back of their husbands will stop after reading this article. It doesn't speak well of them. Your husband's money spent on bringing you abroad is worth more than those free rides in that old banger that nasty deceiving man is giving you. Why do you cheapen yourself, oh my dear married woman? Do you realise how the same man engaged in that sexual transgression with you soils your name and reputation when he meets his friends? If they don't, how would Radio Rockson gather all the true stories he is writing about? Â I regret if my revelation has come to disturb your Christmas plans or enjoyment. I am only asking you to stop your acts of infidelity, but will it make a dent?

Will you continue to let that butcher in Seven Sisters and Daltson Market sleep with you just for offering you free meat? How disgusting you are, oh my dear married woman? How much is meat sold for abroad? Husbands, do you know where that fatty soft beef, mutton etc you're eating comes from? "Wo ada na wo nnan gu abonten" – you are asleep although your door is left wide open. "A word to the wise is enough" This chapter is declared closed!

Rockson Adofo