By Dr. Samuel Adjei Sarfo

Attorney and Counselor at Law

It is a well-known fact that my anger against those who spawn ethnocentric verbiage on these pages is huge. One could even say that I am obsessed with novel ways to kill or destroy them legally, or at least make them cringe in some caustic logomachy. But in a sense, they already live in an eternal hell of their own making, having excluded themselves from the human attributes of sense and logic, peaceful co-existence, mutual opportunities, traditional wisdom, universal acceptance, healthy friendship and scholastic recognition. Given their self-inflicted exile from the comity of common humanity, we deem it just and proper to lampoon their physiology, and to foreground their grotesque image from head to foot for the enjoyment and laughter of our avid readers. So here goes:
The head of an ethnocentric bigot contains white matter with little folds. Indeed, scientists have no problem identifying these people with humankind’s closest cousin, the male orangutan, whose one dimensional focus manifests in its perennial concentration and orchestration of orgiastic debauchery to the total occlusion of his male rivals. But for the typical Ghanaian bigot, his phallic powers are already sapped in the crucible of self-hatred for over two score years, such that whatever remains of his sexual prowess and powers is absorbed into the insipid grub of his self-aggrandizement. Thus the only difference between an orangutan and an ethnocentric mammal consists in where the two animals choose to concentrate their energy: the former is perpetually pursuing its insatiable sexual drive while the latter’s sexual drive is consumed in senseless narcissism and daily diatribes against other tribes.
Due to this singular pursuit of the ethnocentric beast, he has little time to brush his teeth; so these teeth are rotten to the core, and the common act of speech has become a herculean task for the tribal goon who drones his language like some evil spirit. When the ethnocentric animal opens his mouth, a whirlwind of putrescent scent bursts forth, and there is a general outcry amongst his interlocutors that somebody has badly broken the wind, wherefore the excrement that issues from the idiot’s mouth puts other s in a catatonic stupor; for it is then considered an article of great wonderment that an individual could spew forth such verbal sewage of such quantum putrefaction. Ghanaian scientists who have little to do with real life problems continue the quest for a mathematical formula to describe how the density of ethnocentrism is directly proportional to a person’s linguistic incompetence. The latest fake formula is 2 (x +y)-c=f where x is ignorance, y is treason, c is commonsense and f is fucked- up- for-good.
After the formula of putrefaction and its concomitant diarrhea are thus incompetently derived, the interlocutors to the tribalist goon crown him the veritable champion of a lost cause to continue in his Sisyphean task of breaking into pieces a country which has stood the test of all time from the very beginning of time.
The neck of a tribal goon is akin to that of a creature from Galapagos. It is a neck sporting the scales of a little dragon, with the ringed bones protruding forth as if it is a shiny metal coil embroidering the neck of a hungry girl in 1983 Ghana. This neck also looks like that of a tortoise in the sheer manner in which a bigot can crane it forward and roll it around to pick up little pieces of daily gossip which he passes forth as the gospel truth.
The bigot’s blood-shot eyes see only in one direction, and neither open nor bat reflexively as that of ordinary humans. They are thus like the living dead in a hospital morgue, whose vision is frozen in an eternal tunnel. The nation wreckers also see truth and falsehood in terms of the imagistic spectacles of severe refraction. Their warped mentality is birthed by a malignant tumor within their tympanic membrane which in turn causes their cloaca to drum a high decibel clatter of “fontomfrom” within their own heads. This will adequately explain their general loss of hearing and inability to adapt to new-fangled concepts about the commonality of humanity. Thus, the sun may rise to the west and set in the east, a bigot’s mind is never changed!
The stomach of an ethnocentric beast is lopsided: the buccal cavity features as an outlet through the anus wherein he ingests his food, instead of being a frontal posterior pouch. Thus he takes in food through the anterior cavity, and when this food enters his stomach, his digestive system which works in reverse gear sprays a poisonous base on it, instead of the ordinary enzyme, thereby creating a concrete cement of constipation which facilitates curses anytime an ethnocentric idiot opens his mouth.
Finally, the feet of an ethnocentric bigot are syndactylia, akin to that of the Australian marsupial’s and made in the image of Daniel’s idol: a mixture of clay and iron. This part is what mostly symbolizes the bigot’s personality and eventual downfall, for his emotions and nerve centers are within these feet, an appendage forever divided against itself, ready to be crushed together with his whole being, and become like chaff from the summer threshing floors; wherefore the northern wind will carry the bigots away so that no trace of them will ever be found. And those of us anti-bigots will become a great mountain of wisdom and fill the whole earth with the message of inter-ethnic friendship, peaceful co-existence, mutual respect, universal acceptance, tranquility and harmony and unity..........
Samuel Adjei Sarfo, Doctor of Jurisprudence, is a general legal practitioner in Austin, Texas, USA. You can email him at sarfoadjei@yahoo.com