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Opinions of Monday, 5 October 2009

Columnist: The Royal Enoch

Sexism And Our Ghanaian Culture

I guess in life we never know what to expect, and so we learn to live expecting the unexpected. You see the seasons of life are not ours to command. Therefore, we learn how to sway, swing and change with them as they continue to change with time. We sow our seeds with the hope that they would surely grow one day. However, in the back of our minds we do know that life offers none of us a guarantee. We build our hopes and dreams on foundations made out of uncertainty. We live in the now knowing perfectly well that tomorrow would soon arrive. We make promises to each other not intended to break them, but somehow wind up shattering them to pieces. Surely, there must be something which comes with a guarantee, if anything. Because after all, without a certain guarantee in life one could never know if hope is worth the bargain.

A man meets a woman, they both fall in love and decide to get married. In a world seemingly deserted by love, to be in love with someone could be blissful. There is nothing which beats the sound and sight of married couples who are truly in love. Indeed, in times like these, it should be considered an honor to be happily married. Because as you and I know most marriages are rapidly falling apart. Some have it that when love goes, beauty goes. And with it all the things associated with both love and beauty. Marriage is not immune to either love or beauty. In fact, marriage is a shinning example of what happens when love and beauty collide. Therefore, I cannot help but to conclude that, the rapid deterioration of marriages could be as a result of love and beauty sadly whithering away.

I know this married couple who discovered each other's beauty, and essence through the eyes of love. It didn't take long before they mutually agreed to have children. See, they needed to seal their union. However, as sad as it may seem and sound the wife couldn't bare any. They both tried and tried, but to no avail. The husband then decided to go for a check-up. He thought that he might be the cause behind the problem. So after a visit to the doctor, he was informed by the doctor that he was fine. His sperm count was found to be normal as normal can be. He went home and told the wife about it. The wife then accepted to her heart's dismay that she is indeed barren. At first both of them agreed to live with it somehow. But then after awhile, both friends and family started talking. The man was singled out and called all sorts of hurtful names behind his back. So what did he do to save his honor? He cheated on his lovely wife and had a child with another woman.

Of course, this is not what he wanted-this is not what he planned. But the pressure to prove to both friends and family that he wasn't what they thought he was, eventually caught up with him. Mind you, he loved his wife just like how life loves the living. But somehow, this love wasn't enough to save their hitherto happy marriage. Understandably, the woman decided to move on without him. They broke up and both of them went their own separate ways. In most countries around the world, a woman who cannot bare her husband children loses her self-respect and sadly that of other women. In such cases, husbands are mostly encouraged to pursue extra-marital affairs in other to fulfill their need to have children without endangering their marriages. It's even acceptable in our Ghanaian culture for a married man to have a child with another woman, if the man is married to a barren woman. So now my question is, in the view of all this, should it also be deemed acceptable for a married woman to pursue an extra-marital affair for a child, if her husband is sexually impotent?