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Opinions of Friday, 12 September 2008

Columnist: Hiatsi, Richard Dzifah

"Oh, Its Tsatsu Tsikata"

"Oh, Its Tsatsu Tsikata" 2nd Half VooDoo Child(By Dzifah Hiatsi

You are not My Learned Friend

Few learned men would not give a million to challenge Tsatsu and his counsel to a display of legalese. The only catch, you must not only be brilliant and learned, but be a "learned friend" It was coup maker accomplice, Major Gbedemah who once committed that sacrilege of calling a law man, my "learned friend" in court. Big mistake, he was dressed down, "I am a lawyer you are not my learned friend, you are a soldier and a coup maker,"the lawyer said. Bigger mistake! Gbedemah threatened the lawyer with what he knew best, wielding a gun. "Then I will blast your head off" he said. He might have continued in his mind, "with an AK 47 or better still,kafugbeng" the Alavanyo version of the famous Russian mass murder machine.

When you fight Akwasi Rawlings and his "brains" at the same time the results are predictable especially when it appears you are up against the very country called Ghana. The heart and soul of pan Africanism, the most stable country in West Africa and arguably, Africa with free thinking people and a largely stable economy. Going after the man behind such resolute evidence of a a developing modern Ghana times and the "brain" behind that man only points to some sayings, "there is no smoke without fire" and "when a blind man threatens to stone you, his foot may be resting on a piece of rock". Those who are also fighting the losing battle to free the man Tsikata appear at a loss and not even thinking like the man. They act like there is no fire or piece of rock. Justice Abban gave new meaning to the term, "stooping low to conquer

Pitting legal mind against another is no different from an intense competition in a sports arena. Picture Azumah Nelson fighting the thin and haggard looking Mexican, Marcos Villasana. Zoom Zoom turned Villasana into a punching bag and gave him blow after blow but Villassana took it all and refused to go down. Azumah won by points in both meets. Azumah would have taken a cue from Tsikata¢s detractors now; go low, hit below the belt. Just one low blow aimed directly at the balls. Serves you right. Now, if you have the balls get up and fight. Poor Justice Henrietta Abban, she was the short arm of the law with a glove wrapped around her fist. She crouched low on to the floor and delivered to the balls, with an advanced precision missile guiding system allegedly installed in the Colonial Mansion, ouch. Justice Abban gave new meaning to the term, "stooping low to conquer." Is it fire or rock on her or be it that the stars from the mansion would shine on her fortunes in the near future?

That ambiguous law that ex Ashanti Gold CEO, Sam Jonah loves so much

In the near future Ghanaians should expect the state prosecutor¢s office to get busy with the law, "causing financial loss" and "misapplying public property." That ambiguous law that ex Ashanti Gold CEO Sam Jonah loves so much. So does the state go after him for introducing Ghanaians to the terms, "hedge" and "margin calls" or enter a plea bargain with him? Imagine all that knowledge about Ashanti Gold and its modernization, expansion and acquisition locked up in Nsawam. Now that we have struck oil, why is the man responsible for collating all data on oil exploration in Ghana locked up? Intriguing ei, Free Tsatsu Tsikata Movement. Thinking like the man Tsatsu are we? A word to the wise is in VooDoo Child.

A caution though, thou shall not go to court to fight or defend without your learned friend even if your middle name is learned or you are learned like Tsatsu or a bunch of learned people led by Kweretwie Opoku. Should academic efforts fail, there is always that alternative embarked on that time by certain people from Oseikrom who marched to Accra intending to overthrow the government by baring it all. The Ghen residents awaited avidly, eyes wide open for the STC bus carrying the adagya people to arrive. The first person to disembarked was a woman wearing a densinkra At least her shoulders were bare and she may be the aluta henmaa and a prelude of what was to come, the Accra people might have wondered.

Not even those two milk bearing mountains were exposed.

But alas any hope of seeing beautiful black women with shapely moulded legs and beads around their thin waist resting on top of a thick juicy behind turned into disappointment. Not even those two milk bearing mountains were exposed to the people. Two or more men disembarked in white supporter and dared show their assets to the public. Maybe some members of the fairer sex in Accra were not unimpressed and giggled at the Ticos and the Mini Coopers dangling from the top off the exposed supporters. Maybe they were expecting to see Hummers, Landcruisers or Articulators.

The demonstrators were expecting to whip up enough support among the Accra populace to follow their lead to go alimama. Aside the legendary beating of a traditional leader with the ahenma, it was one way of dethroning a ruler. Imagine Kwame Nkrumah Avenue from circle to Sankara overpass become a sea of people akin to Louis Farakhan¢s the Million Man march. The exception, a gleaming sea of naked bodies. Dwarfs and little people also marching along would have had a nose full of scent no agye bebia. Nobody joined in the demonstration, these Nkra fuo. The Accra people literally said in deed, wanna eye tear proper. A closer look at the demonstrators also revealed that the people were in no way related to the guardian of the Golden Stool. Our famous adehye are ebony beautiful and swing their hips as they take those adowa steps. These demonstrators however, some of them had Fanta faces and Coca Cola feet. They might not have been real Kumasianos. They looked like the funeral contractors usually hired to come wail bue bue bue when the need arose.

Well there you have it; Free Tsikata Movement, a need has arisen, and oh, its Tsatsu Tsikata, bue bue.)

Richard Dzifah Hiatsi