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Opinions of Saturday, 29 January 2005

Columnist: Appiah-Yeboah, Kwame

Ode to HONORABLE Peter Ala Adjetey

Go not quietly Go ye yonder
Fade, brave and mighty soldier
Wave, to your cheering members
Cave, to the wonders of old age
Adieu, Adieu, Son of man
Adieu, Adieu, Ga warrior

It is not my habit to kick people when they are down but hey, this is Ala Adjetey. He had no problem milking Ghana dry when he was a big man. Why should I have mercy on him? The removal of Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey from the high seat of Speaker of Parliament certainly demands a comment or two or three.

Before I go any further, I am demanding as a citizen of Ghana that the Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey returns the Mercedes Benz S Class that was bought for the speaker. The car was for the speaker of parliament not the person of Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey. The new speaker also needs to ride in style and he needs a car that will befit his new status. If the new speaker does not want a used car, the S-Class should be auctioned off to the highest bidder. If Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey wants to continue enjoying the car, he can bid for it. I am by this letter putting in a bid for $20,000 (cash). Anyone who bids higher than me can have the car. By the way Peter, there is a new Mercedes A class on the market. Since you have become used to that brand of cars, I think I should let you know. The A class is the cheapest Mercedes on the market and for less than $20,000, you can get one. Or if you are in the mood to be real conservative, I will recommend the Smart Car (Designed by Swatch engineered by Mercedes). Pictures of the Smart car are provided for your viewing pleasure. There is a 2 and 4 seater version for 6,810 and 7,995 pounds sterling, respectively.

I also want to remind Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey that holiday season is around the corner and I have some ideas for him to consider. Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey remarked that when he was in private practice, he could go on $15,000 holidays whenever he wanted. Would the ex-speaker consider Sun City in South Africa? I hear it is the best holiday spot in Africa and was ranked second world wide. What about Sin City (Las Vegas)? The weather is warm like in Ghana and the speaker?s osteoporosis would not act up. Hawaii is too crowded at this time and the canals in Venice are drying up. Paris is cold and boring. Asia is out of the question as Tsunamis have destroyed the good spots. What about a weekend at Aburi Gardens? It is great at this time of the year. I was there one February and it was quiet, serene, peaceful, and made me feel ten years younger. If Aburi would not do, then I recommend Lake Bosomtwi. I have been there too-twice to be precise and it is a great spot.

Before Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey forgets, the ceremonial gown should be left in the ceremonial chambers and not taken home like what happened to one ex-something who stole (he took and did not steal) towels in an expensive hotel in Canada. The gown is for the speaker and should not be taken home as a souvenir.

Finally, the Mayo clinic is offering free kooko check-up for ex-speakers of third world countries. Well, since you got used to having your kooko checked by the best of the best at the best hospitals in the world, I thought I would let you in on the free kooko check up. Please don?t tell me you have no kooko. Because when I look at your face it makes me think I have kooko myself. Someone once referred to your face as ?the face only a mother can love??. I think he was wrong. That is a lovely face you have; ancient but handsome, wrinkled but that is a sign of wisdom, scowling but that is a sign of your kooko acting up, and we are going to miss the face.

Dis (HONORABLE) Peter Ala Adjetey, you have one more chance to do the HONORABLE thing. Return all the aforementioned items and offer a sincere apology to the good people of Ghana for your extravagant lifestyle, insensitive and tasteless remarks while in office. Fade from the limelight and retire in peace. I am taking this opportunity to welcome the new speaker of parliament and the Konogo Kaya MPs to task ahead.

Kwame Appiah-Yeboah
GCE Common Entrance (2X), GCE O?Level, GCE A?Level (2X), Post Sec, Dip. in Education, BSc, Post Grad. Dip., CNA, MSc, MPhil., MBA, CPA, CFA, PhD, MSCFT Cert. OIG, FBI, CNN, RIP

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