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Opinions of Tuesday, 12 April 2016

Columnist: Rev. Dr. Samuel Kisseadoo

Marriage as an institution---It’s Purpose?

Marriage brings other persons into our lives for blood relations and permanent union, causing the creation of a close as well as extended family.

The lack of understanding of the true meaning and purpose of marriage, has been a major cause of the many broken courtships and marital separations and divorces that we see all around us.

Once we start the marriage process, we set an unending cycle into operation and cause one generation after another generation to follow after us in paths that no one can obliterate. Even if no children are born between a husband and a wife, their union brings a strong tie between their two families, which remain forever.

In addition, we (husband and wife) also share the spirits within us (create a good soul tie that permanently binds the two people spiritually). The married persons also share money, property, other resources, character, habits, ideas, and other essentials of society.

It is the sexual union, legally contracted by agreement of the man and woman to share their physical bodies, fully consented to by the two respective families,and blessed by God to become a holy union, that finally foster and cement the permanent romantic union.

Your nephews and nieces will one day meet the grandchildren of your wife or husband’s family and feel as part of them in some way, whether you had any children with your spouse or not.

This is what makes marriage a unique institution ----- the highest and noblest of all systems and institutions on earth.

It has such remarkable, tremendous, profound, and indelible effects and consequences on man’s life that no human should take it lightly; or unwisely enter into it haphazardly, thoughtlessly, and nonchalantly, without sensible,workable plan and purpose.

After careful thought, I have penned down at least 24 principles that I believe must collectively form the primary purpose for the institution of marriage.

I recognize that Marriage is a union that serves very important purposes for mankind and promotes the establishment of:
1. The right way to bring forth children and establish true family life.
2. The meaning and expression of true love and affection for other humans.
3. True maturity in children after being nurtured and trained by parents or elders.
4. The courage and sense of duty to take up and accept responsibility in society.
5. The desire, willingness, and the appropriate steps to contribute towards the welfare of your community.
6. Unity, teamwork, and the sharing of resources for the common good of all.
7. The transference of essential family values to other generations.
8. The inheritance of property and endowments for future productivity.
9. Genuine sacrificial help and support from your closest friend and permanent partner.
10. The blessing of allowing one’s character to be shaped by close association with the closest partner, and relations that result from the marriage (ex. in-laws), especially in dealing with the weaknesses and strengths of your spouse and other people.
11. Learning how to handle and effectively deal with offences, and resolve conflicts.
12. A disciplined and orderly lifestyle.
13. Learning about the true nature of humans, and the knowledge of how to live with people.
14. Experiencing how life goes on in other families as you merge with your spouse’s family members, friends, and other in-laws.
15. High moral, pure, and holy principles.
16. Rewards from children and other family members by way of care, concern, comfort, company, fellowship, kindness, provisions, assistance etc.
17. Obedience to God and accomplishing God’s will.
18. Discovery of one’s innate abilities and reason for existence, and confidence as a man or woman.
19. Enjoyment of a conscience-free and satisfying sexual and romantic life that is truly juicy!
20. True acceptance of people, productivity, effectiveness, and contentment in life.
21. The real meaning of unity, and complementing of a committed partner to fulfill one’s destiny.
22. Experiencing an example of a covenant relationship as ordained by God.
23. Learning to build lasting companionship and true commitment towards other humans.
24. How God uses the love and romantic relationship with an opposite sex in a close partnership to challenge you, break you, teach you, shape your character, and build godliness in you.

I strongly suggest that you use this list to support pre-marital (or post-marital) counseling and self-examination, to check yourself and see if you really understand why you married your wife or husband (if you are married); and find out if you understand why you wish to marry (if you are single, especially if you are dating or courting someone). You may add a few more points to the list I have composed, in terms of your specific circumstances.

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