Letter From the president: Running Mate Blues

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents, the political atmosphere is heating up and we are all bracing ourselves up for real campaigning. As for me and the members of my party, we are resting easy knowing very well that the forthcoming elections are ours to win and theirs (you know who?) to lose. We will do what we have to do and leave the rest to the Sikaman electorate to decide and I know that they are not ready to tell me to take my positive change and ?shove it where the sun don?t shine?.
Whiles waiting for the start of the real electioneering, I have been closely testing the political temperature in the land of the Bushman. It seems that the Bushman will not be my friend anymore after December and I am sad about it. It will take only a welcome miracle for the Bushman to beat the man whose name sounds like a stew ingredient - Curry. Mr. Curry, who speaks haltingly like I do and seldom succeeds in making his point of view clearly known, appears to have brightened his chances of making it to the White House by selecting a running mate who is young and more charismatic and eloquent than he is. Curry?s choice of running mate gave me some food for thought. Curry?s decision also sparked a wave of magnanimity in me and so I have therefore decided to give my opponents free advise on how to choose a running mate with wisdom to balance the equation for political success.