Letter From The President: Sad, but Happy

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents,

I was very surprised to read recently that a survey has found that the citizens of Sikaman are among the happiest on earth. The results of that survey came as a big surprise to me.

Since I ascended the Black Star Stool, most of you have been giving me the impression that you are among the saddest, ill-fed, poverty-stricken bunch on the face of the planet. You are always whining on radio about how you can?t even afford a bowl of gari and ?moko yerawa? every day. You are always complaining about your inability to pay your children?s school fees and the inability of your ?take-home? pay to take you home.