Letter From The President: Peace loving? Really?

Countrymen and women, loyalists and opponents
It is with a heavy heart that I write this letter to you. I am so saddened and angered by the recent upsurge in fighting in La Cote d?Ivoire and the obstinacy of that country?s president. I look at events in Cote d?Ivoire, compare them to certain recent incidents in Sikaman and I can?t help but conclude that my fellow countrymen are refusing to learn from the mistakes of their neighbour.
First let me comment on the lunacy in Cote d?Ivoire. Everything was going well, apparently, until Gbagbo decided to launch attacks on French troops who had mercifully agreed to come to his country to help keep the peace ? something he woefully failed to do himself. The ceasefire was shaky, but it was holding, wasn?t it? Yes, until Gbagbo ordered his troops to bomb the French troops. Well, now the situation has gotten out of hands and hostilities have resumed. We, myself, Obasanjo and other African leaders, have been turned into firemen and they are calling on us to come and help douse the flames of Gbagbo?s madness. I have told them in no uncertain ways that I am campaigning for re-election. I can?t waste my sugarcoated words on silly rebels and an obstinate president when I could use them to win some votes.