Esther A. Armah’s piece on “Risk and Reputation” published on B&FTOnline makes interesting reading. Thanks Esther. I agree with a lot of points raised in the article.

I just love ladies, I just love women. I try very hard to make time for all the ladies I ever come in contact with and make them feel comfortable, just as they do for us.

I am always deeply saddened when I hear a lady, a girl, a woman has been or is being abused, in whatever form.

If Tony Forson, Jnr. violated Kukuuwa Andam, then I condemn it in totality.

However, if Kukuuwa’s story is true, then I say there is another angle to it that, Esther, and indeed, probably all of us, have hitherto missed. Unintentionally! We simply have not adverted our minds to this angle.

(Let me be fair to Tony by saying that he has denied the story as untrue.)

And what is this other angle I’m drawing our attention to? Adwoa, Tony’s wife!

Adwoa is also a woman.

If Kukuuwa’s story is true, then I glean the following:

She knew Tony was married to another woman like her.
She consciously decided to go and sleep with a man whom she knew was married; because she needed money.

Kukuuwa feels violated only because Tony did not use a condom.
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So permit me to recast the story from another angle. IF the story is true, then from the other angle:

‘Kukuuwa did set off, consciously and intentionally to go violate the marriage of Adwoa; in the process she got violated herself. We are hearing about it only because Tony was not patient to allow the use of a condom and to allow Kukuuwa to also enjoy the act. Otherwise, Kukuuwa would have quietly, knowingly and intentionally violated Adwoa’s marriage. And Kukuuwa seems to be implying that, probably that would have been ok!’

So Esther in her article asks, where do we stand? What are we fighting for?

Let us definitely condemn, discourage and punish men who violate women in whatever form! But I am also saying, let us include in that condemnation, our women and ladies who also violate the marriages of other women and think it is ok, so long as they also enjoy it, or get paid or rewarded for doing so. We only hear about them when they get violated in the process. This is like saying ‘let not our women and ladies seek to go to equity without clean hands’.

[I have read elsewhere from Adwoa.] Assuming Kukuuwa’s 2012 story is true, then Adwoa says Kukuuwa attempted to silently and knowingly violate her marriage in 2012. If that story is not true, then Kukuuwa is, with her public outcry, violating Adwoa’s marriage in a worse manner in 2019. So whichever way, Adwoa says she is also aggrieved by Kukuuwa’s attempt to knowingly violate her marriage. Adwoa says she therefore also has a charge against Kukuuwa. But she is not going to the law court to lay her charge. She is going to the righteous judge called God!

Men, let us not violate our ladies and women. Ladies and women, please do not violate the marriages of your fellow ladies and women.