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Opinions of Saturday, 15 October 2016

Columnist: Gyimah, Gilbert Adu

Kofi Dubai does read

President John Mahama President John Mahama

October 13, 2016

Dear Country-Folks,

I am in a rather prickly mood today. Dr. Kofi Prophet of the Opana Party has angered me.

How dare Dr. Kofi Prophet to ask: “Mr. President, care to read?” This comes on top of an earlier statement he made that I, the President, don’t read. Has he been a President before? If Dr. Prophet, who has not been President before, reads, shouldn’t I, the President, be even more of a reader?

Dear Country-Folk, please rest assured in the knowledge that your President reads. I am an avid reader of lots of the stuff on Whatsup. Remember when I broke the news about the Whatsup comments of a certain Auntie Bea. If I had not been reading, how could I have made that scoop? I also tweet. I need not remind you that your President was born after independence and is a very modern man. I don’t wear glasses, I am an avid reader, tech-savvy and a military-aficionado. On the last point, I have the military uniforms I have taken to wearing to prove it.

I admit that I went overboard when I sought to subtly impugn financial impropriety to Dr. Kofi Prophet in the matter of the cedi redenomination. That was rather un-presidential of me. To have given weight to a mischievous allegation like that suggests that either I don’t read much or that I am still suffering the hangover of the Montie bug. But Dr. Prophet’s rebuttal has stung deeply. I shall have to be careful what I say about Dr. Prophet. Not only are his counter-punches deadly but he wastes no time with his counter-punches.

I shall have to find softer targets for my attacks. Better, still let me leave the attacking to my Vice President who has suddenly developed a rather acerbic tongue few knew he had. His “Gbeshie” has come alive.

Let me go and read the Opana Party’s manifesto. I need some policy credibility.

Your Incompetency,
President Kofi Dubai

Gilbert Adu Gyimah
Alberta, Canada