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Opinions of Tuesday, 20 June 2017

Columnist: Isaac Kyei Andoh

Jennifer Lomotey: The missing piece in many marriages

With a Jennifer Lomotey for a wife, it will be difficult for a  man to look outside his marriage With a Jennifer Lomotey for a wife, it will be difficult for a man to look outside his marriage

If you want your wife to be a woman who doesn’t keep so many friends, a woman who makes sure the house is in order, a woman who makes sure that you are well fed, one responsive to your sexual needs and naughty in bed when need be: then you simply want a Jennifer Lomotey for a wife.

Yes, Jennifer Lomotey is the dream wife of many men because she ticks most of the boxes in qualities men want from their wives.

Lack of sexual gratification in marriages is a major cause of cheating and divorce all over the world. As a society, we have negated sex so much so that it is even deemed dirty for a woman to be good in sex. In principle and as a Christian, I am against every form of sex outside marriage: however, I believe there is no limitation on a husband and wife as far as sex is concerned.

In our society, women can’t ask for the kind of sex they want from their husbands without fear of being judged. Men on the other hand tend to look outside for that wild sex which side-chicks don’t think twice to offer but wives remain reluctant to give because the very husband who seeks it will start asking questions like: where did she learn it, has she done it with someone else and what have you.

In marriage, a husband and a wife have total access to their bodies and can enjoy any style of sex they desire. With a Jennifer Lomotey for a wife, it will be difficult for a sane minded man to look outside his marriage. This is not an excuse for cheaters, people cheat largely because they want to but some things added to marriage will reduce it drastically.

This is why Kurl Songs featured Sarkodie to dedicate an entire song to this wonderful woman who knows what it means to be a wife and keep a home
I had no knowledge of the song Jennifer Lomotey until I read an article on City Online condemning the part of the song that has motivated the youth of Krobo with support from their former MP and Chief to seek pacification to the tune of Two million Ghana Cedis from Sarkodie.

Apparently, it was out a few days before City Online published the article to draw the attention of Ghanaians to the ‘crime’ committed by Sarkodie. It didn’t end there; they were the first media house to contact the chief and people of krobo to react to the issue at a time when most of the people who reacted knew not a word from the song. What was the motive for inciting this tribal sentiment?

To form an independent opinion, I downloaded the song and listened over and over again. Without telling my wife the hullaballoo about the song, I asked her to do same and let me know how she’d feel if I described her in that manner and she was of the view that it is exactly what a wife should be.

In my estimation, it is one of the creative and well produced songs in the year so far. Sadly, that isn’t what has dominated the airwaves; just a line that people deem controversial has managed to overshadow the good work done in the typical Ghanaian ‘pull him down fashion’.

This is a great work by a new kid on the block- Kurl Songs- which should shoot him to fame but our energy has been directed at bringing down the one on top- Sark.

If you want to be loved and have no issues in this country, keep being mediocre and don’t ever think of being a Daddy Lumba, DKB, Asamoah Gyan or Obaapa Christy. We are just too effective at bringing down our own and elevating products from other countries. This is not to say the Krobos hate Sarkodie, the simple truth is that they have been incited by people who should know better and they in turn are taking advantage of the situation to make a point that they have not been cursed.

Maybe Sarkodie could have chosen another word to project the sexiness of Jennifer Lomotey to the extent he wanted to without reminding us of the fabricated piece of history about the Krobos which was handed down to us and told before he was born.

The supposed curses of the Krobos by Okomfo Anokye, majority of whose stories like that of Asebu Amenfi of Fantes and Togbe Tsali of Ewes are to me more fictitious than historical occurrence has been with us since independence.

If Sarkodie’s rap was in English, he wouldn’t have used prostitute in place of adwaman to describe Jennifer Lomotey, it would have contradicted his prior description of the woman who had come in and made his life better at all fronts than his previous materialistic wife who made his life a mess

In the Twi Language, the word ‘adwaman’ is used on many occasions and light-heartedly so to mean naughty, sexy and romantic because it is difficult finding a common Twi word to describe sexiness without writing a whole essay . This is why it will be most unfair to take the ‘adwaman’ in the Jennifer Lomotey song to mean prostitute because it doesn’t even fit the description of the woman presented to us in the song.

We have all ‘used mad and crazy’ without implying lunacy or used the word ‘sick’ without implying that someone is ill or physically unwell. We have in the spirit of friendliness called friends adwaman without implying that they are prostitutes

Even in this case, Sarkodie limited his description to the only woman the song was intended to, to praise Jennifer Lomotey and it was in no way tribally demeaning or a general description of Krobo women like we are being forced to believe or accept.

When I say a Krobo woman with big legs, blessed by God, I am in no way suggesting that all Krobo women have been blessed by God with big legs.

This credit was meant for one Krobo woman. So why are people suggesting that by saying Komfo Anokye has cursed Jennifer Lomotey, the Krobo woman with beads on her waist with sexiness, all Krobo women have been slandered?

Granted, the Krobo women are rumoured to have been cursed by Komfo Anokye to be promiscuous but it remains a rumour and untrue in the minds of right thinking members of society. This song does not in any way enforce or validate this figment.

Majority of Ghanaians don’t believe it because in reality, promiscuous living cuts across every tribe in Ghana and not the preserve of Krobo women. In every society, there are decent women and indecent women and the people of Krobo are not any different.

Jennifer Lomotey though isn’t an example of a promiscuous woman, she is the complete wife. Being sexy and romantic isn’t promiscuous.

If all Krobo women are simple, content, take good care of their husbands, live life largely independent from negative influence of friends and naughty to their husbands, then Komfo Anokye's curse, however untrue as it did them a world of good because most men love such wives and marriages thrive when these qualities are at play.

In fact, marriages are suffering because women like Jennifer Lomotey are rare to find.

I think it is time to move on and appreciate the man Kurl Songs for a wonderful song because hard work deserves to be rewarded and more so when it comes from a young man who has found his breakthrough in an industry that disappoints majority and rewards just a fraction.

Shame on all those inciting the Krobo Youth; no Ghanaian believes that they have been cursed by Komfo Anokye. Maybe it was made up because people were amazed at their sexiness. If sexiness is a quality of the Krobo women, then it is a very good to have a Krobo woman for a wife.

Sarkodie is blessed to me married to a Krobo woman.

What the leaders should do instead of leading an unnecessary campaign against a harmless song in the face of many social issues, the youth in Krobo is to channel that energy to help the beautiful and sexy Krobo women to make the right choices in life, emulate Jennifer Lomotey and they will be the envy of all women. It is not a crime to be beautiful and sexy; the crime is the abuse of these qualities.

Society should be developed by giving people direction on how to make the most of every quality gifted them by God.

Jennifer Lomotey is a woman who is using her qualities to build a wonderful home and an enviable marriage.

Jennifer Lomotey will be proud of how she was described in the song.

Marriages are collapsing because her kind is hard to come by.