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Opinions of Saturday, 9 June 2007

Columnist: Ayiku, Charles Nii

Is it the fault of the Ghanaian Woman to cheat..?

“When he cheats, it is normal, but when I cheat, then it is an abomination... this is not fair”

These were the exact words said by a lady I had the opportunity to interview after the husband threw her out of their matrimonial home for cheating on him. According to her, the husband has many girlfriends and sleeps with anything in “skirt”. So she also decided to have fun with men in the area, this she did to discourage her husband from doing that, but he continued to cheat on her.

She said she is not ashamed of her act, because, she is doing exactly what the husband is doing. Whiles people around were telling her to desist from what they term an abominable act, she screamed, saying that , when married women engage in extra marital activities, the society frowns on it, but when it is the men, then , it is normal.

These are some of the issues going on in Ghana today. A lot of married men and women are engaged in extra-marital affairs, other committed couples are doing likewise.

The question is, is it always the fault of the Ghanaian woman to cheat? And should our society keep quiet when it is the man, but make so much noise when it is the woman.

As I do always, I decided to sample the views of some few beautiful Ghanaian ladies on what they think about this issue of Ghanaian women cheating on their partners and if they have any experiences to share.

You want to know more? Please continue reading.

Florence is a trader at Kaneshie and has settled a lot of conflicts involving women cheating on their partners; this is what she has to say.

“I don’t think women should always be blamed for cheating on their partners”

According to her, some men feel the only way to care for a woman is to give her plenty money and other material things. For her, caring for a woman goes beyond that. It is important for the man to spend quality time with the woman, hold her often, caress her and also be more romantic. She was quick to add that, most Ghanaian men are not romantic and all they know is to make love and go away. (The hit and run attitude)

“Even before lovemaking, they don’t take time to go through an exciting moment of foreplay. And when they are done, they fall asleep.”

“You see, after love-making, you should hold your woman for the two of you to fall asleep together, you don’t have to leave her, this is selfishness” she stated.

DD is now single. She got separated from her partner when he suspected her of having an affair with her church member. When I asked her about it, she did not deny it. She told me the husband is always travelling. And even when he's home, he prefers to be with his friends. He also likes younger women in his office. So she decided to have fun with a member of her church. This man according to her gives her lots of attention and makes her feel happy. When the husband is away on his numerous trips, she sleeps in the man’s house or sometimes go to Akosombo or Elmina to spend the weekend together.

Korkor, who is 31 this year, believes that every body was created in a very unique way. For her, the husband feels she is growing too fat for his taste. But Korkor told me there is nothing she can do about it.

“He knew I was fat before he came chasing me. I am from a family of fat people, my siblings are fat, all my relatives are fat, I did not create my self” she said.

“But my husband says he now prefers slim and “chingilingi” girls”.

“Luckily for me I met a nice young man who prefers, fat ladies and to tell you the truth, I am having fun .He is even satisfying me more than my husband”

Fatima told me she started cheating on her partner because, at a point in their marriage, she started feeling unappreciated, unwanted and unloved. “Sometimes he comes back from work and you begin to notice that he is not talking to you as much, he eats out instead of coming home for dinner, spends more time with the friends and falls asleep on the couch watching television”

“Even though he takes care of other responsibilities, he seems to be avoiding conversation, contact and being at home with me and when he is home he's either working or asleep. I have done everything as a woman to make him happy but it seems he is fed-up with me.” So Fatima decided to find happiness outside their matrimonial home.

“I feel so bad when I am making love with this guy I am flirting with, but I need it, so what do I do. Could you believe that, my husband has not touched me for over six months now? I know it is wrong for me to do this, but I am a human being, I need to be happy in life.” She said.

But wait a minute, is it true that some Ghanaian women are just interested in having fun, I hear those ladies have what some Ghanaians call “kakapiopio” hmmmm!

Through my own reflections, I came to realise that Ghanaian women cheat because of the same reasons why Ghanaian men cheat. Our beautiful Ghanaian women are human just like the Ghanaian men and are attracted to the opposite sex with such irresistible impulse that they find themselves cheating on their partners. I believe this is natural. Or what do you think? Most Ghanaian women are more patient and stronger than men when it comes to resisting temptation but that is not what we hear. All we hear is that it is normal for a man to cheat and an abomination for a woman to do so.

As patient and kind-hearted as most Ghanaian women are, they also get bored of a relationship that has lost the heat. Ghanaian women like attention even more than men do. It gets boring when there are no more flowers, no dinners, and no more of those praising words of how beautiful you are. We all need some flavour to spice up our relationship. So when the Ghanaian woman misses all the flavour, they look for them somewhere else.

Any way, once again, what is your opinion? Is it the Ghanaian Woman’s Fault to cheat on the partner?



Views expressed by the author(s) do not necessarily reflect those of GhanaHomePage.