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Opinions of Friday, 7 September 2007

Columnist: Poku, Kojo

Is Osama Bin Laden Hiding In Ghana?

Claims as to the location of Osama bin Laden have been made since December 2001, although none have been definitively proven. This article gives 10 reasons why Osama cannot be hiding in Ghana

1. 70% of Ghanaians want to leave the country. Our president has spent 50% of his presidency abroad. Our presidential candidates and aspirants prefer to campaign in USA. If Osama was here, he’ll be easily exposed, since he might be the only one left in the country.

2. 65% of our budget comes from foreign donors, i.e. the people looking for Osama. 90% of our food aid comes from the west, i.e. the people looking for Bin Laden. School feeding program is funded by the same people and Osama knows there is nothing like a free lunch.

3. The USA has ONE transport secretary (minister) to administer her 14,858 airports, 226,612km of railways, 4,165,110km of paved roads and multiple ports covering 50 states. Ghana has an aviation minister to run ONE functional airport and ONE rented plane; A Minster of road transport to run the 3,267 km of paved roads; a minister for railways to run 953 km of abandoned railway tracks and yet another minister to run the two harbors. Our aviation minister should have all the time in the world to prevent Osama plotting another 9/11 from Ghana.

4. Our government sponsors the journalist, Kweku Baako, to go all the way to Oslo, Norway to go send text messages to a Norwegian living in Oslo. Such illogicality should keep Osama away from Ghana.

5. The Cuban leader, Fidel Castro, had an emergency stomach surgery at home, not abroad because he’s invested in his health service. Our government officials go abroad whenever they are seriously ill, because they do not trust our health service. Osama cannot expose himself with necessary but dangerous foreign trips.

6. President “Hotel” Kufuor – No case; Alan “PSI” Kyeremanteng- No Case; Richard “Condom” Anane – Not guilty; Isaac “Mega-Billionaire” Edumadze – Fired but No Trial; Sheikh I.C. “perjury” Quaye –No trial; Hackman “blowman” Owusu Agyemang – No case; Alhaji “419” Bamba – Fired, but No Trial; Victor Serlomey - Guilty; Dan Abodakpi - Guilty; Kwame Peprah-Guilty, Tsatsu Tsikata – On trial for 5 years; Nana Konadu Rawlings – On trial for 3 years. Conclusion: NPP- Not Guilty; NDC- Guilty. Osama will want at least some semblance of a fair trial, if he is caught.

7. President Kufuor is claiming credit for natural occurrences like: an eclipse, discovery of oil and rain. A jujuman as president is bad news for Osama.

8. Our hydro-dam and stadiums are being financed and built by Chinese; our roads are being built by Israelis; our presidential palace is financed and built by Indians. Can’t we do anything ourselves? Ghana is most defiantly not a good recruiting ground for Osama, since we might even subcontract his evil plans to foreigners..

9. The US government has offered a reward of $25 million for information leading to his capture or death of Osama. One of our MPs is in jail for conspiring to distribute heroin with a street value of $6 million. If Osama were to be hiding in Ghana, this MP would have most undoubtedly spent his time pursuing him; At least that is legal and it also fetches a lot more money.

10. Are Ghanaian Muslims Sunnis or Shiites? I bet they don’t have the slightest idea and you expect Osama to come hide in this confusion? Tweeeeeeaaaaaa No WAY!

Views expressed by the author(s) do not necessarily reflect those of GhanaHomePage.